AHAHA OSAMA DOMESTIC LEADERSHIP
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>Subject: Memorandum
>From: Bin Laden, Osama
>To: All Al Queda Fighters
>Subject: The Cave
>Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come
>together as a group and I love that However, while we are fighting jihad,
>we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:
>
>First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
>should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid
>excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep
>the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster - have you? I've
>posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal
>toaster).
>Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
>scare the shit out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that
>while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or
>keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
>Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on
>the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices
>were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
>Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance
>ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy
>Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
>Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA FKS DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall
>It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the
>edge of the mountain.
>Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that
>the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of
>the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey
>area.)
>Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
>to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for
>them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
>Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.
>PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.
>
>Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.
Submitted by mischief_child@hotmail.com 59
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