1 funny forward joke!!!
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
>diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed
>by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fcking
>chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send
>them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on
>her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before
her
>redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you
>honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send
>"his" email to 1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here If I scroll
>down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in
>the magazine What a bunch of bullsht. So basically, this message is a big
>FCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will
>come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the
>chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country
>by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,
>it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
streak
>of blatant stupidity. Fck them.
>
>If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
>amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and
>this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
>from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fcking care.
>Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
>to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
>
>THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>Chain Letter Type 1:
>> (scroll down)
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>> Make a wish
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>> No, really, go on and make one
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>> Oh please, they'll never go out with you
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>> Wish something else
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>> Not that, you pervert
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>> Is your finger getting tired yet?
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>> STOP
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>> Wasn't that fun? :)
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>> Hope you made a great wish :)
>>
>> Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all,
>> if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you
>> will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile
of
>> manure. It's true Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake
>> ones, THIS one is TRUE
>>
>> Really Here's how it goes:
>>
>> Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for
>> sending them a stupid chain letter.
>>
>> Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you
>> for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>>
>> Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you
>> for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your
life.
>>
>> Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at
>> you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
>>
>> Thanks Good Luck
>>
>> -------------------------------------------------------
>
>Chain Letter Type 2
>>
>> Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is
>> a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
>> legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
>> because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
>> Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
>> Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no
>> way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
>> bullsht. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47
>> seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6
>> people, you will die instantly.
>>
>> Thanks again
>>
>> -------------------------------------------------------
>
>Chain Letter Type 3
>>
>> Hi there This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
>> This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
>> probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is
>> how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
>> something horrible will happen to you like:
>>
>> Bizarre Horror Story 1
>>
>> Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She
>> had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
>> crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe
>> in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did
>> she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You
>>
>> Bizarre Horror Story 2
>>
>> Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail
>> and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
>> boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to
>> hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
>> This Could Happen To You Too
>>
>> Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send
>> this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
>> -------------------------------------------------------
>
>Chain Letter Type 4:
>>
>> As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every
>> one of your friends.
>>
>> Friends
>>
>> A friend is someone who is always at your side,
>> A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of sht,
>> and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
>> A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as
>> a hat full of arseholes,
>> A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
>> A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry
>> about your sad, sad life,
>> A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
>> think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
>> A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then
>> gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... -no, sorry
>> that's the cleaning lady, A friend is not someone who sends you chain
>> letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
>>
>> Now pass this on If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.
>> -----------------------------------------------------------
>
>The point being?
>
>If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or
>luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
>
>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
>with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only
>saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail,
>otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
>
>Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find your balls
>missing tomorrow morning.
Submitted by marshythekid@hotmail.com 4
Print this forward
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