1 Awesome Blonde Jokes (im a blonde, so dont get offended)
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
Q) How do you make a blond drown?
A) Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says, "I wanna buy that T.V." The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but we don't sell anything to dumb blondes." The blonde walks out and comes back the next day with her haid dyed red. She says, "I wanna buy that T.V." The store owner again replies, "I'm sorry but we don't sell anything to dumb blondes." The next day, the blonde comes into the same appliance store with her hair dyed brown. She says, "I wann buy that T.V." Again, the store owner says, "I'm sorry, but we don't sell anything to dumb blondes." The blonde shakes her head in confusion in confusion and asks the man, "How'd you know I was a blonde." The store owner says, "Uh, Ma'am? That's a microwave."
A woman wanted the interior of her house repainted. She hired a contractor and took him on a tour through the house. She walked into the first room and told the man she wanted this room painted white. The man wrote something down on his clipboard, went over to the window, and shouted outside, "Green side up" The woman was confused, but continued with the tour. In the next room, the woman said that she would like this one painted a rose color. Again, the man wrote something down on his clipboard and shouted out the window, "Green side up" The woman was very curious why he was doing this, but was hesitant to say anything. She went into the next room and told the man that she wanted this room to be painted a pale blue. Again, he wrote something down on his clipboard and shouted out the window, "Green side up" The woman finally asked, "Why is it that every time I tell you what color I was the room painted, you shout out the window, 'Green side up'?" The man replied, "I have a crew of blondes planted sod across the street."
This next few aren't really a blonde joke, but they're funny as hell
A man walks into a bar with a pianist that is about a foot tall. As the small pianist begins to play on his miniature piano, a man in the bar notices and asks where he got it. The first man replies, "I found this lamp, made a wish, and here they were" The second guy says, "Awesome Can I try?" So he gives him the lamp, he rubs it and a few seconds later, there are a million ducks all around the room. "Hey," the man says, "I didn't say one million ducks I asked for one million bucks" The first man smiles and says, "Yeah, and you think I wished for a twelve in pianist?"
An amish woman is driving home in her horse and buggy and she is pulled over by a cop. She says, "Is there a problem, officer." The officer tell her that the flashers on the back of her buggy are broken and that she needs to have them fixed. The woman says, "Oh, my husband takes care of that. I'll tell him. Anything else?" THe officer says, "Yeah, and this bordering animal cruelty and I should report you to the SPCA, but you appear to have a rein or rope of some kind wrapped around the horse's testicals." The woman again says, "Oh, my husband takes care of that. I'll tell him, I'll tell him."
When the woman gets home, her husband says, "You're late, is there a problem?" The woman tells of her encounter with the police officer and tells her husband that the flashers should be fixed soon. The husband nods, "Is that all?" The woman thinks for a minute, "He said something about the emergency break..."
I hope these jokes were not offensive...
Submitted by 46
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