Sweet quotes the good ones not mushy! 007
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what chinese mothers usem perhaps toothpicks?
Sleep- a poor substitute for cafffeine.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Smile. Tommorow's going to be worse.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
I'd explain it to you but your brain might explode.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
The knack of flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
In in doubt, make it sound convincing
Build something foolproof and they'll build a better fool.
Know the rules well so you can break them right.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandefather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a dark and a light side, and it holds the universe together.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Don't judge a book by it's movie
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
It's only fun if you can get in trouble.
It you think that something small can't make a difference- try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.
I generally avoid temptaion unless I can't resist it.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel... just pray it's not a train.
I know kung fu, karate, and 47 other dangerous words
It's national moron week, thanks for participating.
Pain without revenge is against MY law...when he broke my heart I broke his jaw.
Chaos, panic, disorder.... My work here is done
You look like S, is that in style now?
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking while you're interrupting.
I'm sorry do i resemble your therapist?
Cancel my subscriptions, I don't need your issues.
(on a t-shirt) BOMB SQUAD. If I'm running, try to keep up
When in doubt mumble
klat kcab ruoy dna uoy nmaD
All work and no play is the average school day
You should always write your name on your underwear. See, I'm Machine Wash Cold.
Don't upset me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
If a person with multiple personalities, threatens suicide, is that considerd a hostage situation?
I think the world would be a much better place if those kids would just give the rabbit his trix
I have PMS and a gun. Excuse me? Did you have something to say?
Everyones entitled to be stupid, but your abusing the privelege
All stressed out and no one to choke
Who ever said nothings impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage
Don't be scared when an old man comes into your room at night and throws you in a bag, I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas
Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed
If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
some people are only alive because its illegal to kill.
Just because your paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you
Before giving someone a piece of your mind be sure you have enoug to spare.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I run into walls.
Confusion is my religion
Hookt awn fonkicks wurket fer mehh
Whales are mammals, all mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES
I ran into my ex the other day. Put it in reverse and hit him again
Boys act like dicks to make up for the ones they dont have
On the other hand, you have different fingers
May your life be like a roll of tiolet paper.... long and useful
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting the violets are dead the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.
Reality is an illusion that occurs from a lack of alcohol.
Occifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God.
I'm multi-talented, I can talk and piss you off at the same time
My imaginary friends think you have serious mental problems
Sarcasm is another free service that I offer
A life? COOL Where can I download one of those?
I have a pen, you have a phone number, THINK of the possibilities
Hey... Haven't I stalked you before?
Don't knock on death's door, ring the bell and run. HE HATES THAT
I went from candy and toys to cell phones and boys
Helpicantfindthespacebar
What goes round usually gets dizzy and falls over
God made grass. God made dirt. God made boys so girls can flirt
Like what you see Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH
I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own.
4 out of 5 voices in my head tell me to go back to sleep
Click you heels and say I need a life I need a life
Don't look at me in that tone of voice
don't interrupt me when i am talking to myself
I WILL NOT CHASE THE BOYS
I WILL NOT CHASE THE BOYS
I WILL NOT CHASE THE BOYS
UNLESS THEY PROVOKE ME
I'm not a ditz I just lack common sense
D
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