1 !Poems Of Hurt And Consequences Of Love Plus More! 1
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As I write my feelings down,
I cant help it but frown.
I didn't really know you before,
but I'm beginning to more and more.
As I do my feelings grow stronger,
but the time you're gone keeps getting longer.
We talk about nothing and everything at the same time,
and I feel that loving you is some sort of crime.
If its a crime, I plead guilty to all charges against me,
just please oh please let my heart be free.
They've barred me up for life in here,
while I shed for you, tear after tear.
Can't you just come and bail me out,
because I love you without a doubt.
Now it's all here to stay,
trying to stop myself each and everyday.
Scratching away at the surface of my skin,
I'm the only one in this game not willing to win.
It hurts really bad at first,
but that isnt even the worst.
Once I can't feel the stinging anymore,
it goes back to what it felt like before.
The emotional pain starts to sink in,
as I sit here and stare at my shin.
My friends can't see how I can stand it,
but I'm too addicted and I cant quit.
I know I should and I know I want to,
but its the only way for me to get through.
I find myself falling in love with you,
even though you really are only a friend.
You have a very special point of view,
that I will listen to until the end.
I barely know you yet somehow I know,
I could spend the rest of my life with you.
Together we could really grow,
I only wish that my dream could come true.
You are in a relationship right now,
yet that somehow doesn't stop my feelings.
I just seem to love you and I don't know how,
I'm done with just staring at the ceilings.
It's time to take action,
And tell you how I truly feel.
I'm only afraid of your reaction,
and if it's actually real.
Was anything I ever did for you good enough,
cause you can destroy me I'm not that tough.
If I dont face my worst fears,
soon I'll be drowning in my own tears.
You're playing games with my mind,
keeping me close as if I was blind.
I'm only wanting what I will never get,
because really I was only one stupid bet.
Soon enough I would grow old and ruin your fun,
It was stupid to think that a new life had begun.
Is it too hard for you to just give me a chance,
but now I realize none of it was ever romance.
For you to know how you hurt me,
would be a miracle I wish I could see.
But too many tears I have cried,
too many times to me you've lied.
I'm just an toy to you,
but I have dreams to persue.
So I'll continue with all of those,
and this isnt the life I would've chose.
I'm stuck with it so I'll live with it,
even after all these crimes I've tried to commit.
I'll miss the wag of your tail,
the faint sound of your bark.
Your body so frail,
listening to them remark.
You lived your life well,
and gave unconditional love.
you were hurting we could tell,
but your heart would rise above.
So much passion to live on,
Living everyday as if it was the last.
But now you are gone,
and your last day has passed.
The short five years I knew you,
you kept going on so strong.
All the times you made it through,
would help you live so long.
The times you had,
the friends you made.
Will all be glad,
you weren't afraid.
It will be so lonely without you,
but we know you'll be there in heart.
Wherever some one went you would too,
with or without a head start.
This shaking I cannot control,
and down my cheek a tear does roll.
Slowly but surely it's ripping me apart,
first my mind but then my heart.
I'm tattered I'm torn,
my heart is too worn.
Your feelings just arent the same,
and this is the end I do proclaim.
I'm sorry for everything I've done to you,
everything I've gone and put you through.
If it means anything to you anymore,
I wasn't thinking straight before.
But now I look back on what we had,
and all of it just makes me sad.
It seems so stupid what I did,
my heart just wouldnt listen only forbid.
I love you Joel I really do,
please just remember this is true.
If I could have a second chance I'd prove,
that this time away from you, I wouldnt move.
I'm moving on with my life,
but you'll always be in my heart.
I wish to have no strife,
our friendship never to part.
I know you have already forgotten me,
and the times we used to share.
I really do see,
how much you don't care.
I just wish I could have saw it before,
but it's just too late now.
I'm starting to miss you more and more,
but you can't tell I dont know how.
I love you, I swear I do,
please just listen, what I say is true.
All my life it's you I've been waiting for,
you mean the world to me and so much more.
But even after all the love I've shown,
my heart by you was thrown like a stone.
Why can't you just love me,
instead of setting me free?
It hurts too much to think of you,
and all this pain you've put me through.
All your lies and all the hurt,
makes me more and more alert.
You made it hurt but why oh why,
did you ever have to go and make me cry?
All I ever wanted was a second chance,
but you kill me with every glance.
I'm leaving this world of hate and disgrace,
a terrible way I am choosing to go.
No one is left to hold and embrace,
Nobody left for my feelings to show.
I have no willingness to live anymore,
but to other people it just does not show.
I have no reason to live like I did before,
No more time to mature and to grow.
People change for the good and the bad,
it seems I have not changed for the good.
When I am gone I shall leave people glad,
knowing that I have left when I should.
can we go back to those days we had,
when we were one and nothing else mattered?
looking at those days makes me feel so glad,
yet when I do my heart becomes shattered.
talking to my friends helps me alot,
no matter how hard they try they can't fix it.
I just hope that you have not forgot,
not even just one little bit.
there seems to even be a glimpse of hope,
and I will hold on to that as long as I can.
maybe this will help me cope,
even make me think of another man.
those memories of us together,
will be in my heart forever.
but they will weigh more than a feather,
and will not leave, no, not ever.
As my eyes form their last tears,
I look for a blade.
Thinking of all the lost years,
Where you just wanted to get laid.
I've found one with no regrets,
of what I'm about to do.
Tired of all the threats,
I'm doing this for you.
I've slit both of my wrists,
And this is how they will find me.
I was tired of seeing your fists,
Pound on me with glee.
Everything is fading now,
This isn't your fault.
Please help me, I don't know how,
I just want my life to come to a halt.
Looking down at me it seems wrong,
to take my life at age thirteen.
But I really didn't belong,
I wish I never had been a teen.
you sit there and take it all,
from people of a different race.
they just want you to fall,
but you're filled with more grace.
don't let them see you fail,
it just makes them stronger.
you shall always prevail,
and stay here longer.
you can outsmart them,
just don't fall into it.
do you know who I am,
or what I've tried to commit?
I feel just the same as you,
we're more alike than you think.
although there are few,
none of us shall ever shrink.
Tonight is the night I am not going to cry,
No I wont be the one who is wanting to die.
Because I have you guys until the end,
Always forever that's how long I'll be your friend.
I've grown to like you all so much more,
more than anything I've ever felt before.
I came home from a night with all of you,
and to you my heart will never be untrue.
You're my friends forever and so much more,
I never knew any of you like this before.
You guys are my living soul,
the ones that keep me whole.
three pills gone down,
two bottles left to go.
steak knife in one hand,
swiss army in the other.
seems like thats all my life's about,
I just want everyone to know.
I dont want to ever love again,
even though these feelings I cant explain.
The tears I've cried for you,
all of this pain that I go through.
You will never feel any of this,
I will never taste your sweet kiss.
As the tears wrap around my face,
I'm carried off to another place.
A place where I can be free,
away from the people who cannot see.
All of these lies are hurting my heart,
Even though we are miles apart.
I cry for you but you just don't see,
I only wanted us to be.
Now as my world is crumbling down,
I cant seem to look directly around.
A frown crosses your face,
when your love I can't replace.
The times we had I won't forget,
when I let you go, thats my one regret.
It's been so long and you've moved on,
but my feelings for you aren't yet gone.
No matter what, you're my first love,
and god sent you down from up above.
As the tears wrap around my face,
I'm carried off to another place.
A place where I can be free,
away from the people who cannot see.
All of these lies are hurting my heart,
Even though we are miles apart.
I cry for you but you just don't see,
I only wanted us to be.
Now as my world is crumbling down,
I cant seem to look directly around.
A frown crosses your face,
when your love I can't replace.
The times we had I won't forget,
when I let you go, thats my one regret.
It's been so long and you've moved on,
but my feelings for you aren't yet gone.
No matter what, you're my first love,
and god sent you down from up above.
He loves me, he loves me not,
He loves me, or so I thought.
He remembers me, he doesnt remember me,
He remembers me, or thats what I see.
He thinks of me, he thinks of me not,
He thinks of me, or so I thought.
He listens to me, he doesnt listen to me,
He listens to me, or thats what I see.
I'm so confused dont know wrong from right,
all over again I wish to hold you tight.
I wasnt thinking when I left you then,
and I promise I'll never do it again.
Just give me a second chance for something new,
you dont know what I've gone through without you.
I've learned my lesson and it hurt quite a bit,
over time when too many crimes I've tried to commit.
Peoples feelings are something you cant change,
although it isn't really that strange.
No matter how strong your feelings are,
you cant stop them from leaving, a scar.
I seem to feel like I'm drifting away from myself,
like I'm floating from my body and looking down at me.
It seems time to put my life back on the shelf,
time to leave and be free.
I look at pictures of my childhood life,
wondering what ever happened to life as a kid.
Now as I grip this knife,
I want to know why I was hid.
Never treated the way others were,
some people say I had it good.
Wishing I was more like her,
not knowing why I should.
I've tried the pills but they just don't go down,
hoping the knife will bring death apon me more quickly.
I am waiting until no one is around,
and when no one is I begin to cut while the blood runs thickly.
I wonder if this is actually the end,
is my life actually worth taking at this time?
I always think to myself that my heart is too broken to mend,
even with some heartbreak there are many more mountains to climb.
I stop cutting and lay down the knife,
maybe it won't be too late.
I start to realize it's not worth it to take my life,
I am going to start off my new life with a clean slate.
I choose to keep this event to myself,
not wanting other to know what their critisism is doing to me.
Maybe everyone should think about more than just themself,
and just let people like me... just be.
She battered and bruised to the bone,
against the wall she is thrown.
He hits her as hard as he can,
not acting anything of a man.
She loves him so much she just crawls back,
but is rejected again with one big smack.
She's a beautiful girl you wouldnt guess,
considering she is such a mess.
She comes from a lovely life,
and is even his lovely wife.
Nobody knows what he does to her,
Her sight is all a blur.
She's black and blue when no one's there,
to her he'll scream and swear.
She wont even trust her friends,
at least not til her life ends.
You can hear her heart break,
over one little mistake.
Soon enough she'll be gone,
maybe even before the next dawn.
He'll have carried on his crime too long,
when in the end she did nothing wrong.
I sit here and think,
what is the point of life?
Then within one blink,
I'm sitting here with a knife.
I don't know what I'm doing,
or if it's right.
There is no undoing,
nothing will make it alright.
I built my life around you,
and you had my heart.
you said I had yours too,
even though now we're apart.
I never wanted anyone but you,
to be in my life forever.
This I swear to you is true,
but to you it's just whatever.
This knife is my last resort,
from the pain I cannot hide.
I am cutting my life short,
My last tear I have cried.
She was only a young age
so much to live for
it wasn't time to turn the page
now she will soar
she was just so young
i had that one chance
i didn't think about it
with one last glance
i turned to sit
she was just so young
her life was taken
without a clue
we were all so shaken
but she was gone before we knew
she was just so young
now we all sit to grieve
the loss of our friend
it is something to hard to believe
and in the end
she was just too young
You've helped me find my dreams,
and to me you dont know what that means.
You, I can call my best guy friend,
and this I mean until the end.
I can come to you when I am down,
and leave you without a frown.
I am thankful to have you in my life,
and you've help put behind me that awful strife.
One that went on between myself and I,
one where I was actually willing to die.
You've helped me overcome my fears,
helped me wipe away unwanted tears.
Thank you for everything you've done,
and I hope that our friendship has only begun.
Its not his fault, or hers,
no it isn't even yours.
I hate every little thing about me,
even the things others couldnt see.
I see the flaws that you don't,
the ones that even friends won't.
These are things I cannot handle,
as my face I hide behind this candle.
I don't want others to see my face,
for they shall be filled with disgrace.
She saw him walk by her in the halls,
waved at him when they saw at the malls.
She hasn't felt like this before,
he makes her heart fall to the floor.
She thinks she doesn't stand a chance,
for ever just one dance.
She doesn't know what has come over her,
wishing things went back to what they were.
she feels so foolish not knowing,
how easily it was showing.
She didn't know he didn't love her,
not being the one he would prefer.
She now just wants it to end,
her heart too broken to mend.
She heard him say it without meaning it,
not even one little bit.
You look straight into my heart and find,
the words that I can't say and say them for me.
From the whole world I'm running behind,
trying to run across the deep blue sea.
As I try to catch up I just trail farther back,
wondering why the world wont just wait for me.
But they never will and I eventually lose track,
and enjoy this life as my own roaming free.
My heart just aches for someone to care,
someone who cares about only the real me.
Just like everyone says, life is unfair,
as I mature that is one thing I can see.
Even though it truely doesn't matter,
I will never forget what you've done for me.
Even after the pieces of my heart scattered,
the whole picture you seemed to see.
Now that we are together forever,
The world is starting to wait up for me.
I wouldn't want our love to end not ever,
but that you cannot seem to see.
I'm lost in this scary place,
my heart is too small to hold it all.
But when I see that look apon your face,
out your name I do call.
Save me from this angry place,
for it is mad at me I am sure.
I'm only looking for a warm embrace,
to make me feel a little more assure.
I'm fleeing from this crazy place,
everything is just too much to handle.
If it is really that easy I pleed my case,
life really is a scandal.
It always seems too good to be true,
even after all that I've been through.
Things go right for a little while,
even then I could put on a fake smile.
But now after things have changed,
my whole life has been rearranged.
I've warned people of this coming day,
on my birthdate, the month of may.
Apon this day you can all recall,
hearing that sound throughout your wall.
That sound you heard was the whimper of me,
crying out to you all, why couldnt you see?
I gave you all the hints that I could,
even though not one of you really understood.
You were the one I loved yet you couldnt see,
what the pain and lies were doing to me.
I told you more than once that it was true,
the only one I wanted was you.
I seemed a nothing in your life,
and more than once I've held that knife.
The time again has come to say,
for me I do not wish you to pray.
Keep your prays for something you can save,
and just put your wishes apon my grave.
It's too late now for you to see
I hate it when we disagree.
So on my birthdate, the month of may,
I hope you shall have something to say.
For I will be gone before you know,
and this death, to you, I owe.
Life used to be about friends and toys,
now its all about sex and boys.
But we've all grown up slightly,
just wanting to be held tightly.
But not by our parents anymore,
no not like it was before.
Teenagers now are liking the opposite sex,
its like we've been put under some kind of hex.
Trying to break free from it as it holds you back,
searching for holes in a hole thats nothing but black.
Some don't make it through all rough times,
others just eventually run outta rhymes.
Even more often they hurt themselves and others,
thinking about their life and not anothers.
The moon is out the sky is bright,
the world seems at peace tonight.
but that is just what we see,
if only that were the way it could be.
never do we think beyond our yard,
or bother to write a card.
a loved one will lose their life,
over one certain strife.
it seems that countries never learn,
therefor get what they earn.
What is all this fighting for,
this horrible fighting called war.
It's not really a matter of race,
or the shape of your face.
you can get caught up in this war,
with one swift open of a door.
All of this isn't a strife,
or worth one single life.
Let's change what is going on,
if not it shall all be gone.
Everybody and anybody come,
see what this world has become.
So much hate not enough love,
will anyone else rise above.
There is no need for this,
or for it to exist.
What is life?
What is strife?
Why is there war?
What is it for?
Does anyone care?
Is anyone aware?
Why is there pain?
Why is there vain?
What is it for?
Why is it like before?
Why World War I?
Wasn't it done?
Why World War II?
Wasn't it through?
Why World War III?
could it really be?
writting to get the troubles out,
when all i wanna do is scream and shout.
too much happens when we're so young,
and to think life has just begun.
Why is life such a pain,
cant we just live without vain?
Live without pain not caring like before,
instead of wanting to die more and more.
You made me feel like my life was alright,
that I could go on without a fight.
But you were just really drunk,
even then I still find that you're a hunk.
I thought you actually meant what you said,
but now different thoughts are running through my head.
A player is all you seem to be,
but I thought you were different to me.
You made me feel so superior and wanted,
but after the fact I feel used and unwanted.
I'm not used to all of this,
and my old life I'm beginning to miss.
My heart isn't in it for the lust,
love for me really is a must.
You're not even going to remember my face,
maybe this really just isn't my place.
That kiss on my head and reassurance you gave,
made me feel along with everyone else, so brave.
I can't believe that I just met you yet feel this way,
I don't even have anything to say.
Who knows if I'm ever going to see you again,
I just wish that you could be my only man.
I feel like I'm going to puke up what I did,
or from myself I should be hid.
I Know it'll happen again to me,
but I wish that my life would just be.
It makes me sick to think about it,
and the consiquences that go along with this shit.
Submitted by tony_brat@hotmail.com 6
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