1 Very Insparational Story... MUST READ
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It all started last February. My older sister was in high school swimming and she recieved the "Most Valuable Swimmer" award. I was happy for her of course, but my parents were bragging to everybody about what a great swimmer she is... But what about me? I'm also a good swimmer for my age, 13, but I haven't had my chance to shine. My sister was getting many 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places but I wasn't placing quite as high because the girls in my age group are really fast. My parents do know that, but it seems they didn't care. On the back of my sister's swimming picture my mom wrote, "2003 Swimming State Qualifier, Most Valuable Swimmer". On the back of my track picture she wrote, "Runs the mile". Later on at the end of the year my sister got straight A's and was 1st in her class out of 198. I got all A's and one B. No matter how hard I tried, I was in my sister's shadow. I felt like a nothing, and sometimes I still feel that way. I wasn't mad at anybody, except for myself. Eventually I felt a little bit better because I had finally found something I could really be proud of... playing my electric guitar. It just seemed to make me feel good about myself and it just helped me relax... That's not the only thing that was bringing me down. Another thing was death... In mid-March my grandma passed away. I was pretty crushed because I hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. I cried my eyes out until I had no more tears. The next thing that was pulling me down was my grandpa(not my grandma's husband, a different grandpa). He was extremely sick and was in alot of pain, but the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. He had been sick since October, but he kept getting worse. My mom would visit him in the hospital everyday, and my dad, my sister, and I would come alot, too. It was terrible seeing him like that... The usual smile wiped from his face, the twinkle in his eye now a dull glint. The doctors told us he may have cancer and he wasn't doing good. We thought for a few days that my grandpa was going to die, but then the doctors told us there was no cancer and that he was going to be fine. For awhile we were glad for this. Then the doctors finally decided to take my grandpa into surgery for his spinal cord, which was where most of the pain was at. The surgery was schedualed to be at 8:30 AM, so my dad, sister, and I left the house at 8:00 so we could see my grandpa before his surgery(my mom was already at the hospital). When we arrived, my mom told us they had reschedualed the surgery to 8:00 AM. We sat in the waiting room for awhile, then headed off to te swim meet we had that day, but my mom stayed at the hospital to wait with my grandma... Later that day, my mom came to the swim meet. After the meet, when we were loading our things into the car, my mom told me that my grandpa had cancer and it was just a matter of time. I began to cry, and I just couldn't imagine life without my grandpa. The next day, my grandpa still hadn't waken up from the surgery. He wasn't in a coma or anything, he was just sleeping. Days went by and he still didn't wake up. One day when my dad was taking me to swim practice, he told me that my grandpa wasn't doing good and I needed to decide if I wanted to see him one last time or not. He told me that he didn't want me to remember my grandpa like this, but to remember him when he was healthy. The next day, my family and I went to the hospital to see my grandpa, for what was the last time. The moment I walked into his room, I broke down in tears. He was hooked up to a bunch of tubes and was breathing heavily as he slept. My mom went and sat by him and told him we were there, as tears streamed down her face. He probably couldn't hear us, though. I stood by his bed and held his hand as I cried, and I was finally able to choke out, "I love you Grandpa." We stayed for about 45 minutes, my sister and I went home because it was almost 11:30. Just before we left I told my grandpa goodbye. My parents stayed for awhile longer. In the car I was struggling not to cry, and I was holding it in. It was terrible just waiting for my grandpa's death. That Friday we went up to Fort Collins for a swim meet. My mom stayed to watch us race once, then drove all the way back to Pueblo to stay with my grandpa and grandma. That night I dreamed that my grandpa had passed away. The next morning my friend and I went swimming in the hotel pool. When we came back, my dad told me that my grandpa had passed away. It took a moment to soak in, then I hugged my dad and the tears came. My friend was there for me the whole time, too. I cried for awhile, then we left to go to another hotel. That night, we went to A Perfect Circle's concert. I was so happy being in the Ogden Theater and watching Maynard sing, but I just couldn't stop thinking about my grandpa. I just couldn't believe he was gone. I don't know why I was in such shock, he was extremely sick and I had been waiting for his death. A few days passed by and we went to his funeral. My sister, my 4 cousins, and I couldn't control tears as we shared our memories of my grandpa for everyone. As we left the church, we walked past the open casket in which my grandpa lay. He looked so peaceful. I was still coping with his death a few days later, when we went to another swim meet. My boyfriend, who is on another team, was there and I was so very happy for once. I hadn't seen him in awhile and it was nice to be happy. The next day of the swim meet he wasn't there. I had no idea why, because he had said nothing about not coming. I asked another kid on his team why and he said that his great aunt had passed away. I felt bad for my boyfriend, and I was so mad at myself because I had gotten my hopes up that he was going to be there. That was the day I decided to never get my hopes up again because I always end up getting crushed. It felt terrible to lose hope, but I just couldn't help it.
The next thing that happened was a couple weeks after the swim meet. My sister and a couple of her friends went out to go go-cart riding. I was sitting in my living room watching tv and at about 11:00 the phone rang. It was my sister. She told me to give the phone to Mom, so I did. I stayed by my mom's side because I knew something was wrong... My sister's voice was somehow different. When my mom got off the phone she said that my sister had been in a car accident. My dad and I went to where the accident was. When we pulled up there were about 5 cop cars and 2 ambulances. The car had skidded about 150 feet,then rolled 2 or 3 times. It had landed upside-down in somebody's front yard. My dad and I quickly got out of the jeep to where my sister was. She was sitting on the ground with a few cuts on her hands and legs. The first thing I did when she stood up was give her a great big hug and ask if she was ok. She insisted she was so I let her go. We went over to see how my sister's friends were. One of her friend's arms were baddly cut up, but other than that, they were all ok. I still thank God that they were all wearing their seatbelts because one of the cops said, "I really think you cheated death on that one." I cried a little bit because either I was just so happy because my sister was alive, or because I was so sad thinking about life without her.
A few days later, my friend told me that my boyfriend said he thought this one girl was really hot but he couldn't go out with her because he's going out with me. I feel really bad because I don't want to keep him from doing what he really wants. I called my boyfriend to tell him that, but I chickened out. I still don't know if he purposely hung up or if it was an accident. I've tried to call him since then but he's never home. I've just been so confused. I try to think of ALL the possiblities, good and bad, but it's hard sometimes.
It scares my to know that for just 1 second I thought I had no desire to live. Everything was going wrong, and wasn't getting any better. I kept crying about everything that's happened, but then I would get mad at myself because one of my teachers once said, "People cry because the feel sorry for themselves." The many tears stopped and I became in a state of depression. Thankfully I pulled myself together and told myself things WOULD get better. I till don't know what's going to happen between me and my boyfriend, but that's something I'll just have to wait for.
I've learned alot about life this summer. The many bad things that happened have just made me stronger. I feel that I can cope with death easier,
This summer I have learned so much about life. The biggest thing I learned was to live every day like it's my last, and to cherish my loved ones because they truely may not be there tomorrow. Now I tell my family I love them every day because I don't want my last words to be mean ones. Another thing, I feel I can now cope with death easier. Things didn't actually become better, but I quit feeling sorry for myself and I made MYSELF get better. This summer I feel like I've become a much better and wier person. Why let the world bring you down when you can bring yourself up?
Remember these quotes:
"You can't have a rainbow without a little rain."
"Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, someone tosses you a shovel."
"It's good to smile, good to laugh, but also great to cry."
"Live everyday like it's your last."
"Be thankful for everything in your life,for it may not be there tomorrow."
"The thorns make the roses even better."
"Live today like it's your last, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one's watching."
And most of all...
"IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE'LL BRING YOU THROUGH IT."
>>I hope this story has inspired you at least just a little bit. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
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