I REALLY NEED ADVICE... REALLY (love or lust i'll let u decide)
Religious
Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
when we met it was through my boyfriend (dan) and father of my 1year old son. i have 3 other children to another man (who left me when i was about to give birth to my 3rd). so anyway when matt and i met we got along so well we started to text each other and we actually become very good mates... at this time dan and i werent getting on he wasnt speaking to my older kids right infact his attitude was very wrong. Five months later and dan went away for the weekend i invited matt over for a drink we had a good laugh and i seemed to forget the drama's that dan and i were having. one thing led to another and we found ourselves in bed we had begun to have sex and then matt said that he couldnt do it, i agreed and he went home. we decided that it was wrong and it wont happen again then 2 weks later it did happen again.. we again were at my house and dan had to pick my daughter and oldest son up from my mothers and it was a 3hour drive each way i told him that i was going to ask matt over for a drink because we had just moved house and matt had helped us dan said yeah that would be good have fun... matt did come over and i mean this when i say it i didnt think that anything would happen thats not why i invited him, but we were obviously attracted to each other and did fight it but it got the better of us ... i knew that what we were doing was wrong but i went weak every time that i saw him...time went bye and it was just like that.. we would see each other when ever we could .. dan and i were worse than ever, we broke up but we called it a break BUT we were trying really hard to sort things out. matt had a girlfriend well not really a girlfriend they had sex.. same as him and i ,i thought. when dan moved out matt started saying things like he thought we were soulmates and how special i was all the nice things that made me fall inlove with him. THEN matt backed off abit we were still having sex. and dan and i were still trying to sort things out and it seemed to be getting better. but i couldnt stop thinking of matt i knew i loved him and he made me feel so good about myself he was my escape from all the drama's i had. my kids never knew anything even though he stayed some night only 1 person knew ,my bestfriend..matt said that he'd love to tell people but he couldnt trust any1 enough ... then our relationship turned into sex nothing more our friendship seem to fade and was taken over by the sex. THEN his girlfriend fell pregnant(he told me on my 30th birthday) i tried to call it off (again) i had tried before because i was feeling to much for him but we ended up still together doing the same thing SEX. when i called it off when his girlfriend fell pregnant he agreed but then we were together the next week , then he called it off when she was 4months along.. i stayed away from him but again a week later he texted me i kept saying no but eventually we started it again...Sometimes he treated me as if she wasnt in his life then other times he'd bring her up and it would be in my face.. he use to call me baby, sweetie, gorgeous things like that all the time but then that stopped and only become occasionally.... so anyway we have been meeting once a week since then he says that he has feelings for me but we cant be together. now his baby is born and i was with him that night, thats the last we've been together(only a week and a half ago) i didnt feel good that night infact i felt very sad confused and degraded when i left his house... he knows i love him and he has told me before that he loved me that was about 5months ago. i feel that i should just let him go leave him to his family but its hard when he wont leave me alone.. i love him.. i really need advice there is so much more to this story but i cut it short for you guy's please any questions please ask any advice please give thank you nicole ... ps please dont think that this is a trashy love story of sleeze because i dont think that it is i believe that our feelings were very true at first but something happened along the way..... thanx nicole
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