11111111111(Yeah I know that's cheap..) Boarding School Lessons..
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1: There is no such thing as too much food.
2: Neither is there any such thing as the wrong time to eat junk food.
3: The pizza guy is always late when it's cold and raining. (We have to wait for pizzas in the car park)
4: The printers are never, I repeat, NEVER working. Get used to it.
5: Never, ever, ask why. It really doesn't help.
6: Sliding down stairs on a lever arch file is not a good idea.
7: Neither is eating things that are "home cooked" by others.
8: Always remember to include a disclaimer. That way, you can't be sued for any of the above/below turning out bad.
9: Never mix vodka and whiskey.
10: Don't trust anyone. Ever. Particularly if they use the words "trust me", invoke deities, or are holding any kind of camera.
11: Morrisons (supermarket, for all you that don't know) is the source of all life.
12: If you're going to complain, complain loudly.
13: When arguing with members of staff (or anyone really) always head for the moral high ground as quickly as possible.
14: Your ego is not important.
15: If you leave anything without a lock for more than a minute, it spontaneously grows legs and walks.
16: You WILL be kicked out of the library for working/playing chess/doing absolutely anything.
17: Things happen. Just. Don't. Ask. Really, it's the best course of action.
18: Anything you say/write may be taken down and used in evidence against you. And believe me, it will.
19: Never answer even the most innocent-sounding question in the affirmative.
20: With a large enough cover story, you can get away with anything.
21: The train from York to King's Cross WILL leave at 17:50. The bus from school that you are on in attempts to catch said train WILL arrive at York Station at 17:51.
22: If you discover a strange substance on your hand (or anywhere on your person) DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LICK IT OFF.
23: Elbows, fingernails, lever arch files, schoolbags and flat irons CAN be classed as offensive weapons. Beware of policemen.
24: The door codes will change the minute you know all of them.
AND FINALLY, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU LEARN AT BOARDING SCHOOL:
25: It's not what you do, it's how many times you get caught.
Just don't get caught.
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