Anorexia ( I know what it's like)
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“Anorexic little 7th grader,” jeered several 8th grade boys in unison when I crossed their path in the hallway. I hugged my books tightly to my chest and without making eye contact quickly turned the corner out of sight. Tears crept into my eyes, but I held them back. I bit my tongue, for I knew that they told the truth. As I neared the classroom I attempted to regain my self-esteem. There was no use, it had once again been shattered.
In class Ms. Cay said that we’d work on group projects. “I’ve already put you into groups so nobody will feel left out,” she said with a grin. A frown suddenly spread across her face, “However, I don’t want any complaints”
The class groaned and gave the teacher looks of horror. However, I silently sat in my seat, my face unchanged. Personally, I despised group projects. My social life consisted of me, myself, and I. On the other hand, like Ms. Cay had said before, I wouldn’t have to worry about feeling left out.
“Group number one is Loralynn,” I sat up straight and listened intently at the sound of my name, ” Jill and Mary.”
I gathered my things and maneuvered over to the corner of the room where Jill and Mary had already assembled. I attempted to smile, but deep down I knew that it wasn’t going to be a fun class period. I shyly sat down next to Jill and ignored Mary. I wanted nothing to do with her. Mary was loud, a foot taller than I, and couldn’t care less about my feelings. A good chunk of my pain was because of her.
Things went smoothly for a minute or so until Mary opened her big mouth, “Loralynn you’re too skinny. What do you live off of, water?” She prodded me in the stomach and looked at me questioningly. I shrugged and kept working, trying hard not to let my true emotions show.
Somehow I survived the class, and even the rest of the school day. When I got home though, I couldn’t take anymore. I locked myself in my room and collapsed onto my bed. It’d been years since I’d cried, but I felt as if I had no control. My emotions were bottled up way too long and finally burst. Tears streamed down my face and my tiny body shook as I let go of everything. For the few minutes that I cried I felt nothing. I twas just my tears and I. There were no feelings or emotions. Time stood stalk still.
“Loralynn?” called a soft voice from right outside my door, “It’s me, Brianna. Can I come in?” I wiped my eyes and replied, “Yeah, sure.” How could I turn her down? She’d been one of my best friends until my eating disorder. I slowly got up, unlocked the door, and let her in. Brianna settled down on the edge of my bed and motioned with her hand form e to sit next to her. I really didn’t feel like talking to anybody, but I figured the least I could do was sit on the bed.
“I know what it’s like,” she muttered. No, I thought, how could she possibly know?
Suddenly she grasped the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up, exposing her ribs. If I’d wanted, I could’ve counted each one easily. At that moment I realized something. Skeletons, that’s what we were. Physically we looked like hell, mentally though we were ten times worse.
I looked into her eyes and she stared back. I knew we were thinking the same thing. Together, we could beat this and we would.
Submitted by lloralynn@hotmail.com 51
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