|
Fast Cash Virus
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
It has now been determined that the Fast Cash Virus operates
equally busy under the following names :
Good Times
Free Money
$$$$ EASY $$$$
Books
Micro Soft
Of course there are lots of other names out there, and you must
please add the names of those that you come accross.
It turns out that these so-called hoax viri are very dangerous
after all.
Fast Cash will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will
mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and
leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over. It
will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and
hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Fast Cash will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will
give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your
gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to
your Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is
dead, such is the power of Fast Cash, it reaches out beyond the
grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your
boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting
shade of mauve.
Fast Cash will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your
bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out
to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
Fast Cash will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to
rise. It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up
reactionary talk stations at the expense of others. It prevents
scurvy, but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so, which
makes the net results negative. It cheats at Scrabble.
It can forge your signature. It plays the bagpipes in your
basement. It shaves over your bathroom sink and then leaves the
hair to clog your drain. It does bad celebrity impersonations in
front of your friends.
Submitted by 19
Print this forward
Rate this forward:
Bored.com
- Tons of fun stuff to do when you are bored.
MakeWebsites.com
- Free tools for creating your own website.
LifeBets.com
- Win a $100 prize by correctly predicting real life events.
Free Stuff For
Teens - Teen Freebies: video games, cd's, magazines, contests,
beauty products, posters, and more. Only lists free offers that
don't have minimum age requirements.
SearchCactus.com
- A search engine where you get money for each search that you do.
Must be at least 13 years old and a U.S. resident.
Adoptme.com
- Adopt a virtual pet.
Digitalfilms.com
- Make your own movie online for free
CheapFlowers.com
- Buy flowers online for $29.95 with no extra delivery charge or
other fees.
|
|
