GOTTA READ!!!!
Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
Just met your double. i swear it was u. i even shouted your name but u just kept on ignoring me n carried on poking ur fingaup ur arse n eating ur banana
Three girls walked into a bar... one blonde, two red heads.The blonde asked for a pint... the bar man said 'only if u pick the scabs off my sons face'.. she said 'ew no'
then one of the red heads asked for a glass of wine.. the bar man said 'only if you pick the scabs off my sons face' she said 'ew no' she and the blonde walked out the bar
the other red head said 'i will pick the scabs off ur sons face if i can have a glass of sherry'
the bar man said ok and gave the red head a small plastic bag..
she went upstairs,picked them off, put them in the bag and threw it out the window.
the blonde who was standing underneath picked the bag up and said
'oooooh look a packet of crisps'
there was this blonde and this brunette sitting on a roof. The blonde jumped off. And the brunette asked her why. And the blonde said "because I was testing out my new maxi pads with wings"
there was this guy driving down a road, and he broke down in the middle of nowhere. He tried fixing his car, but it was getting dark so he thought to himself 'il fix it tomorrow'. He needed a place to stay for the night, so he went up to a house, and knocked on the door. An old lady answered and he said 'ma'm, my car broke down and i need a place to stay for the night. Can i sleep in ur house just for tonight?' and the old lady said 'yes, but u have to sleep in the bathtub' and he said ok. So, the man went into the bathroom and laid down in the tub, but as he was laying there he noticed a pair of panties hanging to the shower curtain bar. n he just looked and looked at em, and finally couldn8217;t refuse, so he pulled em down. The old lady came in right as he did it, and screamed, if u ever do that again, il call the police. the next day the man was out working on his car, and it started getting dark again, so he went up n knocked on the ladys dooe again, n asked if he could stay for one more night. n she said yes, but u gotta sleep in the barn, so he said ok.. That night he went out to the barn, and saw a donkey there. to one sde of him was a can of green spray paint, and to the other, the donkey. He just kept looking at em, and finally couldn8217;t refuse. He sprayed the donkey green. the old lady came in, saw it, and screamed it u ever do that again il call the cops. The next day he was working on his car again, and it was starting to get dark. he went up to the house, and asked the lady if he could stay for just one more night, and she said yea, but u gotta sleep in bed, with me, n
he said ok. well, theat night, he climbed into bed with her, and a cat jumped up onto it. the old lady felll asleep, and he just kept staring at the cat. n finally, he couldn8217;t take it ne more, so he pulled out all of the cats hair. the old lady woke up, saw the cat and called the cops. when the police man asked what the guy had done she said....
"he puleld down my panties, sprayed my ass green, and plucked all the hairs outta my pussy
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked, "What do you have under the newspaper?" "A bird," the guy replied. The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this little girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here." The police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her, "What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
Theres a little boy at home and he hears his parents arguing in there room and from his dad he hears the words bitch and tits so the little boy asks the dad what they mean and so the dad lied to him and he said bitch means girl because your mom is a girl and tits mean coat because she forgot her coat when she left the house and then the little boy heres his mom say bastard and balls and he asks her what that means and she said bastard means boy because thats what your dad is and balls means hat because he forgot it today when he went to work.
The next day its thanksgiving and the little boy is in the bathroom with his dad while his dad was shaving and his dad cuts himself with the blade and says shit and the little boy asks the dad what does shit mean and the dad tells him its another word for shaving so the little boy goes downstairs to find his mom in the kitchen stuffing the turkey and she drops it on the floor and says fck and the little kid asks her what fck means and she says its another word for stuffing.
so the little boy is watching tv and he hears the doorbell so he opens it up and it is his relatives coming to visit so the little boy says "hi you bastards and bitches you can hang your balls and tits in the closet my dads upstairs shitting and my mom is in the kitchen fcking the turkey".
Q. HOW DO YOU NO A BLONDES BEEN IN YOUR CAR?
A. THERES A CONDOM ON THE GEARSTICK
Q. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A BRICK?
A. A BRICK DOESNT SCREAM WHEN IT GETS LAID
There was a blonde; a red head and a brunette running form the cops. They ran down this street and saw a shed. They each hid in a potato sack, so the cops wouldn8217;t see em. Well, when the cops came in the shed, they saw the three potato sacks. The cop poked at the first one and the brunette said "woof woof" and the cops says "its just a dog" then he poked at the second sack, and the red head said
"Meow8221;. Then he poked at the third bag and the blonde yelled "potatoes potatoes"...she got arrested
Thankyou for spending your time reading these. these r a few of my favourites. sorri if they r too sik for ya but they r funni.
Submitted by girlz_rule_4_eva@hotmail.com 13
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