love, hate, and heartbreak - -
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
love always,
jessie
[Here’s My Vow]
My name is spelt with seven letters.
Seven letters which I hate most.
I have but 14 years on earth,
This many years ago my mommy gave birth
So here I am today and you can call me “Jess”
As I stand here you’d probably imagine me a mess…
I am – but so is my life right now
I try so hard to figure it out but I don’t know how.
I find it hard to fall in love,
To give my heart away
It’s been broken so many times before,
For once, I just want love to stay.
The second I think I’ve found it
I get told some good and bad news:
“Jess, he really is a great guy…” and then I hear
“The bad thing is he’s not for you…”
Same old lie...every time.
I wish I could figure this out
I hate the fact that they don’t understand
And I hate that I don’t even know what I’m all about
So what’s supposed to happen?
You graduate then maybe get a career?
You find a life partner
And hope everything is made clear
Well I don’t get it
I try to love
But get hated in return
This is not what I thought of.
My idea of a perfect day
Is far from this reality
Because nothing can be perfect;
I’m even missing a part of me.
A broken heart
And many tears…
I’ve been through so much
In so little years
I’m not saying “Good-bye”
But I’m not saying “Hello”
Because by the time I say “Hi”
You’ll probably have to go…
Your eyes sparkle like the stars
You are the butterflies in my “tummy” that always come
My heart beats fast when you’re around
But now you’re not…I miss not having you to hug…
I promise to love you better
If you come back just for a moment
The words you said to me tore me apart…
You didn’t want to hurt me, I know what you meant
So here’s my vow,
One of silence
To never
Speak
Again
[What I Want From You]
I want to hold you close,
I want to push you away…
I want you to go
But I want you to stay…
[She]
She calls him from her phone
She hears it ring, and ring
She waits for him to pick it up
She couldn’t ask for an easier thing.
(Ironic…because)
He sees his phone ringing
He sits down, just waits, and waits
He knows she’s waiting
He even pictures her face.
And then
He breaks, he picks up the phone
She says “Hi” as nice as she can.
He says, as usual, that he’s busy
She says “That’s fine” and lies again.
He promises a phone call later
She nods her head and silently says “That’s perfect”
He hangs up knowing he won’t call back
She holds her face and lays empty with regret.
He’s out with his friends
He’s laughing and having fun
He remembers his promise
He acts like he “had none”
She sits in her room
She grabs her scrapbook
She looks at her phone
She had on her face an empty look.
He looks at the sky
She looks at her pen.
He laughs out loud as
She cries again
He’s out and awake
She’s alone again tonight
He hurt her more
She cries…oh she cries
He says good-night
He walks to his bed
He looks at his phone, thinks of her
He falls asleep in bed
She lies there
She waits; her dark brown eyes slowly die
She knows he doesn’t care
She still waits for him and still cries
She
He
Now
Me.
I wait,
I’m still waiting
I lye in my room with my scrapbook
I’m here, always waiting.
[I…]
Full of hate
I write
These letters of love are:
Full of anger
I write to you
I can’t help but
Be kind
But I want to scream
Let’s rewind…
Take this back
Just a step
Take me back
Or just pretend
I care so much
And so do you
You’re full of secrets
You’re full of innocence
I saw a future in you
I saw my true self when I saw you
So where did you go
The man I still love
The one that keeps secrets
That I try to figure out
Where is the one
That lifted me up
Carried me up stairs
Laughed with me
Where is he, the one that talked so much?
The one that stayed up all night with me
The one that gave me more than I asked for
Where is the one that still is my everything?
"I hate your eyes..
I hate how your so damn cute
I hated the way laughed..
I hate how i never will hate you"
He was the guy
That has a smile that could melt any heart
He was the guy
That had my love from the very start
He still is “that guy”
But
Where did he go?
Because I,
I was so close to happiness.
(Take this weight of guilt off my shoulders, because I feel responsible for losing you)
Submitted by fine_lookin8@hotmail.com 31
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