1 A weeks worth of quotes
Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
"Look I can't be arsed..."
"social suicide"
"funky chicken"
"Something bloody stinks in here...oh I'm sorry but you need a toilet and fast"
"I'm not a spoilt brat but I get what I want all the time" Yeah, course B R A T
"You're my sister and I love you now lend me your..." creeping round.
"What you looking for...it isn't me that wants to be found by you" just tell that creep of a guy where his place is
"Life's a bitch, lifes a drag, but there's no excuse for being a slag"
"Thingamajig" can always come in handy when you forgot the name of it or "whatdyacallit" or "whatsit".
"straight as a roundabout"
"get your head out of your bum for 2 seconds and concentrate"
"you have an interesting package can I look at it?"
"Mummy what does intercourse mean?" that 3 year old boy on a bus said that one.
"This banana is massive but not as big as those melons"
"price check on checkout 5 for feminine intimate wipes"
"look I don't care what you say about me...shut up bitch you know you're just complimenting yourself there" contradictory.
"you give and I'll take"
"legally brunette"
"everywhere we go, everywhere we go, people wanna know, people wanna know, who we are,who we are, and where we come from, and where we come from, so we tell em, so we tell em, we're from Derby, we're from Derby, mighty whitey chufty wufty trendy wendy Derby, mighty whitey chufty wufty trendy wendy Derby, and if you can't hear us, and if you can't hear us, we'll shout a little louder,we'll shout a little louder" Our little chant from school buses the front sing the first part and the back are the echo.
"where's me handbag?" says your mum who doesn't notice its beside her feet. "go find me handbag" but there's no point searching top to bottom when its on the floor. "can't find me handbag" duh it's on the floor. Just when you thought you needed specs.
"somebody loves me" a phonecall for you.
"this is big brother, will...please come to the diary room" just when you thought you couldn't take any more big brother you find you can quote it pretty easily.
"I want whatever he's smoking"
"thats weird my fart smells like beer and i didn't drink any as i recall"
"we are 118" the new commercial sang to the we are family song.
"I think I look nice tonight what do you think" "I love the smell of your bullsht but truthfully I wouldn't have worn that"
"guilty until you find an excuse to blame someone else"
"you've got a fly on lip...It's all that shit you've been talking"
"excuse me I'm from (such and such a company trying to sell you our crappy stuff)" "hello" "I was wondering if you're...""no goodbye"
"I can't get him out of my head" "come ere and I'll sort it for you" looks over and my friend has hired an angry ahmed from big brother with his spade. "oops I've dug myself in here a bit too deep"
"If life gives you lemons...wanna make lemonade with me?" cheesy chat up line.
"would you like that tattooed to your forehead?"
"I'm playing hide and seek, I've just found where you've been hiding all this time"
"If I had a pound for every time i heard that one I'd be a millionaire"
"Don't believe what's written on the label you could buy so many beauty products but you'd still be ugly"
"Oh you're labelling me that are you" (sticks sign on back) "well guess what I love you too"
"Man is in bed with his partner and it's dark, he hears the front door and footspteps 'oh crap my wife's back' and the woman in bed next to him goes to him 'I'm your wife' and the moral of the story is you can be a bigamist but don't get caught"
"even a crate of tic tacs wouldn't shift the smell of your breath"
"My fantasy is about bassplayers" "I'm a bassplayer" "good for you"
"If you could have a tattoo anywhere where would you have it? I'd have 2 w's so when you bend over it says wow"
"stop staring and buy me a beer"
"oooh hen night tonight will you be my chicken?"
"you don't know me don't judge me but I know you and you're a selfish arrogant bastard"
"It smells like cod and fish in here"
"I've had better sex on my own"
"for better and for worse"
"what am I going to do with you eh?"
"She's that bike that everyone loves to ride"
"what's the magic word?" "abracadabra"
"I'm well cheeky"
"you know you shouldn't have told me that you could see down my top cos I won't let you see again"
"I wish I never fcked everything up all the time"
"Its just me myself and I"
"That is the best website I've ever been on" (rathergood.com)
"I'd like to thank my mum and my dad and my friends and everyone who was daft enought to believe all that bull"
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