1 A Just Ask Aunt Steph
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
Dear Steph,
I've got a bit of a problem at the moment and I thought I'd share it with you. In fact I was wondering what you might do if you were in my shoes. I have a best friend called "Kylie" and she's going out with "Richard" (My Boyfriend "Joe's" twin brother.) Only they are identical and one drunken night of passion at their party and I now have doubts which twin it was with. "Richard" calls me really nasty names all the time, I wish he'd leave me alone. "Kylie" is my friend of 14 years how can I tell her I slept with her boyfriend and how can I tell "Joe" about what happened with his brother? Also I am now having a baby but not quite sure who the father is. I haven't told anyine not even my mother I'm too ashamed. I don't know if 17 is a good enough age to raise a child and how immature "Richard" is (if he's the dad). Will they ever forgive me? - Maria,17
Well Maria, I have read your story and I really think you need to have a chat with all the people concerned here. Get Kylie, Joe and Richard to come and chat with you about it. You also need an adult to supervise this as you are probably scared how the brothers might react. Explain how it was a drunken mistake and Richard took advantage so he must face responsibilty as well. You are also pregnant please tell your mother and she will be able to give you support. You also need to tell the truth to the brothers and tell them of the possible consequences. Yes everyone is just as important Kylie is probably the victim in all of this and so is your baby. Please don't do anything hasty and try and remain calm. Don't worry people will always react in different ways and you can't just expect them to instantly forgive you it takes time and effort from both parties. Maria-If you do need to talk in confidentiality then call our Ask Steph Hotline all of our tem of special trained listeners are able to give their views.
Dear Steph,
I don't know who to confide in. Am I a lesbian? I once messed about with my best friend at a sleepover (My boyfriend's cousin). I really enjoyed it but I'm not quite sure about my friend she hasn't spoken to me since. She calls me a lesbian and spreads rumours around school. My boyfriend found ot and he reacted in such a way, in fact I was surprised he was so calm about it. But I feel the same for boys as I do girls now will I ever find out whether I'm straight or will I keep cheating on my boyfriend with girls?-Joanna,16
Joanna, you are coming to terms with your sexuality, you have time to explore and find the real you. It can be very hard finding out you are attracted to the same sex and people will take advantage of the fact you have different tastes. It can be very hard seeing your friends being homophobic but obviously they aren't your real friends. They may be intimidated and be worried you might have a fling with them too but as you say you have a boyfriend and don't want to cheat. He has been very understanding and it is his cousin you went with too. He can probably see that you're experimenting and he can understand you didn't deliberately mean to do it. Please tell your mother about this and she can give you some advice. You are not a lesbian you could end up being bisexual and lead a normal life. For now rise above the gossips and try and get on with your life at your age school is more important than anything.
Dear Steph,
I am in love with an older man and he loves me too. I am 15 and he's 22. He has his own flat, his own car and he buys me loads of presents. We've been off and on for two years now. Recently he asked me to move in with him. I have been skipping school to spend time at his luxurious apartment and we've often slept together. My father left home when I was 6 months old. I feel like my boyfriend is the only one who cares. I am from a single parent family I have 3 more sisters aged 10, 8 and 2. I feel like I can escape from my home life when I'm with him and he always promises I'll be with him forever. I was round his one night when his mate came round (he's nice too) and we were all watching adult movies and drinking vodka, well passing the bottle to each other. I felt a bit dizzy and went to lie down, next thing I knew my boyfriend and his mate both came in and asked me to have sex with both of them. I always do what my boyfriend tells me to do its his bedroom so I did. My mother wants me to come home I've been stopping there for a while now she says my relationship is unhealthy but I love him what do I do? Becky,15
Becky this is serious. You are underage even if you are nearly 16 it's still breaking the law. You have been with him since you were 13 and he was asking you to do sexual things with him then. I'm really sorry but he's probably using you for sex. He buys you lots of presents to keep you sweet. It isn't love but young girls often are in love with older men. Even if you are in love though he can go to jail for rape even if you consented to it. It is illegal and very dangerous to have sex with two partners imagine if you caught an STI or something. You shouldn't be drinking alcohol either because when you are drunk you become less aware of what you're doing. Having 2 22 year old men controlling a poor helpless teenager is the reality of it. I think you should go home and go back to school. You need to visit a sexual health clinic. You have the right to say no. Never let a man force you. It really does sound like one of those subjects I really can't solve only you are the one to wake up and see what he's doing to you.
Dear Steph
I am sitting here with a sharp pair of scissors next to me on my table. I regularly cut really deep into my thighs, arms and my stomach when I'm depressed. The physical pain blocks out all my worries and after the adrenaline rush I'm back down again. I drink heavily and smoke weed all the time. I'm only 14 but I feel that in my short life it needs to be over. My friends, well if I can call them that always pick on me. I wear different clothes to everyone else because I'm poor and can't afford to buy all those expensive labels. My dad used to hit my mum and one day he went too far and beat her so much she lost my little baby sister inside her and it killed my mum too. He later hung himself in prison. I am in a foster home and yeah they are really nice to me but I can't help feeling left out you know. Why me did I deserve any of this? I want to get help now stop the pain but however much I try and get help I always refuse it. I can't ever be a normal teenager but I want to try.-Megan,14
Dear Megan,
You are right to confess to what you are doing. Did you know that the alcohol and drugs can make you feel even more depressed? They will give you a temporary high. I suggest you try a rehabilitation program if its really a problem. I am sorry to hear about your family life I mean you must feel like it's your fault. You could not stop your father from doing anything because you were a youg child. Cutting yourself can be very dangerous and thats why I'm telling you to make the effort and go talk to your foster parents, social worker or a counsellor. You must not suffer in silence. You are not to blame in any of this why should you contiue to cause more pain? You should to look forward to a happy future ahead of you, you can't want to die at 14. It should have nothing to do with what you wear people can probably sense you are having a diffcult time and you should be strong. I am trusting you to stop doing the drugs because it could lead to you doing illegal ones. You could do serious damage if you continue cutting. Like I said you are on the way to getting help but don't be ashamed nobody's going to judge you they will understand. if you do feel suicidal call the Ask Steph Hotline.
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