1 50 things that make you go hmmmmm and more
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2. why is it that dogs stick their heads out windows but hate when you blow in their face
3.why are they called APART-ments when they are stuck together????
4. Why is an autograph called an autograph when it isn't a graph on automobiles?
5.If Ms. Cleo can predict your future why does she ask you for your name?
6.is their any lacktose and tolerent people in Wisconsin
7.can you teach a new dog old tricks
8.and if you can then why cant you teach a old dog new tricks???
9.Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
10.Why, when we send something by ship its called cargo and if we send something by car its called a shipment?
11.If you get olive oil by squeezing olives, how do we get baby oil?
12.Why do you have to have a drivers licence to buy alcohol if you can't drink and drive?
13.b4 they invented drawing boards where did they go bak to?
14. If u can't drink drive, y do u need a driver's license to buy liquor, y do bars have parkin lots?
15.why is it that a doctors work is called a practice?
16. Y is it that when u r drivin and lookin for an address, u turn down the volume?
17.If a cow sneezed would milk come out of his nose
18.what hair color do they put on bald mens drivers lisences
19.IF THE BLACK BOX SURVIVES A pLANE CRASH WHY ISNT THE WHOLE PLANE MADE OF THE STUFF
20.WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM
21.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
22.Why do they call it “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” when they know the answer is going to be everyone?
23.How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?
24.Could a tanning bed kill a vampire? If not would they get a tan?
25.How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?
26.If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn’t you be able to go anywhere you want?
27.If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
28.If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
29.Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
30.stop looking its not in there
31.Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?
32.Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
33.Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
34.Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
35.If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
36.If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
37.If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
38.Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
39.Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
40.Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?
41.Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
42.Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
43.Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?
44.Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
45.If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
46.How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
47.Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
48.Can you cry under water?
49.364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged Why is that ?
50.why is it that someone says head up when they mean for you to duck?
TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.
Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists.
He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B -
He was kicked ou t of office twice, sleeps until
noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your Choice?
Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.
----------------------------------------------
Candidate A: is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B: is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C: is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember:
Amateurs built the Ark
Professionals built the Titanic
and in case you never saw this one.. ....
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
Submitted by lokilove13@aol.com 43
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