Top Five Reasons, Excuses, and Questions in Rodeo
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1. “It wasn’t fair, they always drag the course after my run.”
2. “The lights were wrong in here, they make weird shadows.”
3. “Those stupid people in the crowd won’t quit ringing cowbells…It distracts my horse”
4. “I changed bits last week and he’s still not used to it.”
5. “The wind is blowing really hard today, I wasn’t anywhere near that barrel.”
Being bucked off a bull--
1. “My bull was too little.”
2. “My bull was too fat.”
3. “I didn’t nod, I had something in my eye.”
4. “There was this slippery guacamole stuff all over my bull’s back.”
5. “Spur his hide?????” I thought you were yelling, “Jump off, you made your ride”
Questions asked by bull riders
1. “Tell me again, which way was I walking?”
2. “If I were a bull rope, where would I be?”
3. …nods head…”Somebody did flank my bull, right?”
4. “Anybody remember what my truck looks like?”
5. “They have that bull tied to the chute because they are going to lead him around for me, right?”
Bulls you would throw out if you drew them
1. Jackhammer
2. Nut Buster
3. Crotch Critter
4. Cherry Popper (can’t forget the women bull riders)
5. Torn Rectum
Reasons team ropers give for missing their catch
1. “The ground was too muddy.”
2. “The ground was too hard.”
3. “My horse didn’t give me good enough aim.”
4. “The steers were too fresh.”
5. “If my wife hadn’t picked that fight with me last night, I coulda concentrated better.”
Things a rough stock rider doesn’t want to hear
1. “Sorry, we entered you in the bull riding instead of saddle bronc. It’s ok though, you drew an easy one, Nut Buster...you’ll be fine.”---Office Secretary
2. “This bull has killed 5/6 of the contestants that attempted to ride him…the other one is still airborne.”---Announcer
3. “That’s as far as I’m running.”---Bullfighter
4. “Is he dead?”---Other rough stock rider
5. “Oops…that’s not good…it’s ok, we can sew them back on…I think.”---Paramedic
Things wanna-be bull riders say
1. “Yea, I ride PRCA, by the way, can you put my rope on for me?”
2. “I’m goin’ PBR next spring, by the way, where are the chute gates at?”
3. “I thought bulls were tame.”
4. “I don’t need a vest, I’m tough.” (After the short ride to the hospital)
5. “How do you like my belt buckle? I bought it at the store, had my name put on it, and that I am champ of the IPRA.”
Things people in the bleachers say
1. “Look at the cowboy girls”
2. “Look son, a cow”
3. “Do they use the same ponies that buck the guys off for those girls that run around the barrels?”
4. “The mama bull is going to get mad because those cowboys are riding the baby bulls.”
5. “I guess that cowboy was REALLY tired because he is taking a nap in the middle of the dirt…and he doesn’t even care that the horse is jumping around his head”
Things you wouldn’t want to be reincarnated as at a rodeo
1. A flank strap
2. A sheep
3. A bathroom after 5 bull riders use it
4. Boots
5. A fat barrel racer’s saddle
Things stupid PETA members say
1. “I hope you’re happy, that bull could have hurt its horn when it hooked that cowboy”
2. “Next time, I’m going to put a device similar to a highly durable and protective ‘horn wrap’ around your head and see how you like being roped.”
3. “I know it looks like the bulls testicles are moving freely, but I still only listen to my friends on the PETA message board that say the flank strap is wrapped around them.”
4. “Everything we say is right, regardless of the fact sheets and statistics.”
5. “What’s a flank strap?”
Submitted by colorado_cowgirl2000@yahoo.com 55
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