11111111111111 (Yeah it's still cheap)
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
1: The nextdoor neighbours always love bad music. (By this I mean music I don't like.)
2: They are physically incapable of listening to said music at a volume less than 300 decibels.
3: This is not a good thing. But kicking on the wall real hard shuts them up.
4: There are some things houseparents/real parents are cool with. Piercing your friend's ear with a safety pin is not, I repeat, NOT generally one of these things.
5: Neither is coming back from a shopping trip with a tattoo. Even if it's a really nice one.
6: Cleaning ladies are really funky.
7: Coursework is the creation of the devil.
8: So are english teachers.
9: If you are on a foreign language news site on the net, any passing teacher will assume you're working. Yes, even if they can see your MSN conversation at the corner of the screen.
10: Drink beer quickly. Random room searches, the police and beer do NOT mix.
11: Citizenship is a load of bollocks.
12: ..But don't tell the citizenship teacher.
13: Roomies can be good or bad. When you have a good one, enjoy your time with them..cause it sure as hell won't happen again.
14: The tv timer always switches off halfway through your favourite program.
15: Cheese is a good thing.
16: Rum is a better thing.
17: Houseparents do not appreciate article 16. Ever.
18: According to staff, camera phones are the source of all evil in the known universe. Really.
19: At any point in time, there may be found in the library as follows: a group of bored 6th formers; that weird kid from Year 7; two giggling Year 9s - no, nobody knows what they're laughing about; and the guy from Estates who's fixing the heater.
20: You will gain completely inexplicable nicknames. So deal. (In our year group we currently have Muff, GG, Dumbass the eighth dwarf, Moho, Kax, Cookie, Preeeefect, and Bridget the Midget - aka me, and/or Lizard)
21: Don't attempt to do coursework when drunk/high. Really.
22: If you come into school with purple hair, sooner or later someone will notice. And probably not someone you really want to notice.
23: Putting obscene comments on the school website is fun.
24: However, it is difficult to explain to senior members of staff, who for some strange reason don't seem to find it so funny.
25: Whatever your coursework deadline is, add three days.
26: You're not there to learn, you're there to pass exams - this is a direct quote from the biology teacher, and I think that says it all, really.
27: In any circumstances, you can blame one of five things:
1, the teacher
2, the printer
3, the postal service
4, your roommate
5, any of the Year 11el boys
Don't ask why, it just works.
And as always..it's not what you do, it's how many times you get caught.
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