NAMES EVER+ (NO LIE)
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Whoever said "words can't hurt me" never got hit in the head with a dictionary
I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
Guys are like public toilets, engaged, occupied or full of crap
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before
You must have fallen down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down
Cry me a river, build me a bridge, then do us all a favour and jump off it
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its just hilarious
Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die
Dont drink and drive... Cause u might hit a bump and spill ya beer
Everything is possible except skiing through revolving doors
Dogs go WOOF Cats go MEOW and you just go BLA BLA BLA
My door is always open, so feel free to leave
Everyones entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privelage
I'm not smilin at you I'm tryin not to laugh
What happens if you get scared half to death TWICE?????
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm not a snob I'm just better than you
I'm a genie in a bottle, you're a tramp in a lamp
Practice makes perfect, but nobodys perfect so why practice?
I told my Dad I stopped raising hell, he called me a quitter
I looked at a pig, then looked at you and thought, "Woah deja vu"
They never suspect the innocent one
Officer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God
HELP, I've fallen and I can't . . . Hey nice carpet
Roses are red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't
Can I take a photo of you, I collect pics of natural disasters
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you
Flying is simple you just throw yourself at the ground and miss
First law of science: don't spit into the wind
An idiot is a windowwasher on the 44th floor, who steps back to admire his work
Who's cruel idea for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Time flies like the wind, Fruit flies like bananas
If you don't like my driving stay off the pavement
it takes a big man to cry, and an even bigger man to laugh at him
God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you, but we all make mistakes
I am who I am, your opinion is neither wanted nor required
I dont' swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool
Don't look at me in that tone of voice
I'm so sweet, I put Cadbury's out of buisiness
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and your mascara will run
i was standing in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they came closer, then it hit me
Mirrors don't laugh, good job because yours wouldn't shut up
If you're going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance
Do I look like a freakin people person?
You know your drunk, when you fall off the floor
I'm not shy, I'm just not interested
Well aren't we just a ray of fcking sunshine
They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad cow disease' was already taken
If you're gonna get in trouble for hitting someone, might as well hit them hard
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Last night I pkayed a blank tape full blast, the mime next door went nuts
Wouldn't it be ironic to die in the living room
Sometimes majority means all the fools on the same side
I have all the answers, but I never said they were right
On my birth certificate it clearly states 'Princess'
Be careful I know Kung fu, Karate and 56 other dangerous words
I'm special, your not, get over it
Shin: device for finding furniture in the dark
I think you'd better click your goody two hoes and say 'I NEED A LIFE' I NEED A LIFE' I NEED A LIFE'
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