1 forever and a day
Religious
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
Today is bettter than yesterday, but it still hurts so much. Everytime I close my eyes I see your face and hear your voice. Every song I hear reminds me of you. Every place I go is a place we have been together. I can't escape you, and I don't want to. I just want to think about you without being sad or breaking down. I still don't know why this happened and I guess I never will. Even worse, I still don't know how to face your mom. I try to talk to her.... I really do, but everything seems like it is forced between us. I guess that is mostly my fault, but I really do love her. I just can't help but feel I did something wrong. She probably thinks I did and I reckon I did when it all boils down to it. Because I did hurt you.....alot...which I am sorry for. If I could go back in time I would have treated you better, but I can't torture like that atleast that is what your brother says. I think I deserve to feel like this and I am beginning to believe I do more and more each day. I keep replaying our relationship in my mind. I hurt you so much. When you thought it couldn't get much worse I came along and proved it could. Why did I do that? Because I didn't know a good thing when it bit me in the butt.Because I knew you loved me no matter what I did and that scared me. Because I am a mean and hateful person. I guess that reason works best, doesn't it? Gosh Victor, I love you and I will 'til the day I die. I pray you knew that. Why did you have to kill yourself? I want so bad to be mad at you, but I can't. For crying out loud, your dead. how can I be mad at someone who is dead? I can't, I won't. I wish I could hold you one more time, tell you I love you. I wonder if you knew just how much I really do love you. What was so bad that you had to kill yourself? I mean I thought about it but I could never do that. I couldn't stand hurting the people I love so much. I guess you thought we would be better without you, but we are not. We hurt so much and I guess that really didn't matter to you. You are going to miss so many things. Victor, when I talked to last I knew something was I asked you what was wrong, why couldn't you tell me? You know I would do anything for you. Why would this be different? I remember you use to tell me that you would move and heaven and earth for me. Well Victor, as my last request from you, can you move heaven to earth so I can be with you one last time. I am sorry for all the pain. I will cherish our memories and you will never be far from my thoughts. Until next time darlin'--love you forever and a day like you use to say. I just guess your forever wasn't as long as mine.
I will always love you,
Keari
Submitted by mscountryangel18@aol.com 64
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