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TRUTH UNKNOWN
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
You tell me you might be getting married
If everything goes fine during the next few months
I smile and tell you that is cool
I hope it lasts
I try to be happy for you
But deep down inside I cry
I cry for the last time
For this heart of mine is gone, torn, destroyed
I am hurt
Hurt by what you say
Hurt by how you act
Hurt from the thought of you with your Dark Angel
I know that you do not understand
These feelings I still have
These feelings for you
I used to be your Angel
You told me I would always be
Whatever happened I will never know
You said we were meant to be
That nothing would ever come between us
The day I read that letter
You brought tears to my eyes
You told me you would never hurt me
And that I made you the happiest person alive
I see you lied
You said I would always hold a special place
A place in your heart
I wonder if that is true
There is no more Angel
Now there is only your Dark Angel
I no longer have my Big Saber
But now she has her Big Saber Killa
Without you this Angel is dead
Lost forever wondering through emptiness
In a world full of unknown things
For there is no more Angel
Only a lost soul
The Angel you once knew
Is forever gone, dead
She left not long after you did
The only way she will ever reappear in my life
Is if you do
I know you will never reappear
In my life
The same way you did
You say you have changed
The real you has finally evolved
You say that people think it is for the worse
Who is to judge
I have changed too
For both the better and the worse
Although you will probably never know
When we were together
We acted so different
Now we are apart
And our worlds separated
My world once revolved around you
You brought out a fake me
The one opposite of me
I tired my hardest to please you
I see I brought out the fake you
The one you hate
You turned me into an Angel
An Angel am I never to be
The true me you have
Never seen
You will never see
You once asked me
Why I never go to Rachel’s house anymore
I told you it was because she wanted to tell
What I told her about us to someone
And that I did not know if I could face her true reaction
Well I lied
The real reason is
I am afraid
Afraid I would want to go to your house
Afraid I would run into you and your Dark Angel
Afraid It would bring back too many memories and too much pain
It didn’t take me long to realize
That I love you
Although I know you love me no more
No one can stop these feelings I have
You made me have these feelings
Feelings only you could bring
Of joy and happiness
Of love and peace
Of security when I am around you
You made me a better person
You taught me many lessons in life
Lessons of love and friendship
Lessons on family situations
Lessons towards life itself
Now that you are gone
I have kept those lessons close to me
But I am beginning to fall back to the old me
The me that stays quiet about who she likes
The me that liked you before you knew
The me afraid to say anything about this
For who knows what it might cause
When I pass your work
I think of all the things you said to me there
About working there
Closing with you
I remember the conversation we had
In the parking lot while waiting on
Someone to pick up Duck
I remember how sacred you were
When you asked me that one question
I saw the relief in your eyes
When my answer was no
I remember making fun of Daily
And Nikki too
You see I learned many things
Many things from you.
I remember the trips to Brandon’s
And to the lake
I will never forget when
Duck decided to ride his bike off of the dock
And he did not time the releasing of the bike perfectly
And he almost drowned from the pain
I remember the time I told you
Be careful at Brandon’s
You ended up stepping on a glass
And badly cutting your foot
Most of all I remember the promises you made to me
Whatever happened to those I will never know
You once said that you did not care about the age difference
Or what others thought
Well I see that changed
You promised me we would get married
You promised me the world
That last week before we broke up was painful
Painful for both you and I
I know it seems that all I ever did was talk about Zach
We hit a rough spot in life
I thought we could work it out
Once again I was WRONG
I know that I seemed to annoy you
All you had to do was tell me to leave you alone
When it comes to letting go
Of people that mean so much to me
It is hard for me to do
My world once revolved around you
But it does no more
You still mean so much to me
Although you are my world no longer
You are a dark person
As am I
Just not as dark as you
If we were colors
You would be black and
I dark blue
Although you probably never realized it
We see things so similar
Things in common
The way we see life
Only I noticed this
For I am a very observant person
Unlike other people
I see things that most would just pass over
But everything catches my attention
Especially the little details
In life everyone goes through
Ups and downs
Some downs are easier to handle than others
This last down I went through
I am just now reached the top
You were there for me
I thought you always would be
Once again I was WRONG
I was above the ground
You brought me back to reality
A place often unseen
A level of reality
Unfamiliar to me
You made me see things in many ways
Through your eyes
Through mine
Through everyone else’s too
You made me realize that life IS something
Something to cherish
Something to enjoy
Something to take for granted
Although you may not realize this but
I miss you
I miss your sweet sexy voice
I miss your body, your sweet touch,
I miss the warmth I get when I am around you
You probably do not miss me
Not my warmth or my touch
Not my voice or my body
Nothing
You say we can be friends and
THAT IS IT
You say that your girlfriend did not like what I said
Well why did she know what I said
I do not go repeating everything you say to others
Do I
Everything is about you
Never is it about me
You do not have to worry
I never share things with people that do not need to hear
The only people that get told things are
The people that are close to me
They know everything about me
They know never to tell
What gave you the right to tell Rob and Daily all that stuff
But you get pissed when I tell
One person
Only ONE
What is the big deal I say
You tell me that if anything gets out
Everything is over for you
What about me
Oh yeah I forgot
Nothing is about me
It is all about you
You are this BIG
Macho man
You have no feelings
For me or anyone else
Oh wait I forgot again
You have feelings for her
Dark Angel
This person who exists yet does not
She is real but she is a dream
I know not what to make of her
Real or make-believe I do not know
Your best friend and worst enemy
Told me something about you today
He told me that you wrote that e-mail at his house
If it was written at his house
Then how did the Dark Angel sign it
Only two girls were there
Rob’s mom and his sister
Unless Daily is this Dark Angel
Rob made me think today
He told me something then
He gave me this evil laugh
This laugh that made me think
A laugh that would confuse anyone
Especially me
You know I am easy
Not EASY easy
But easy to trick
Easy to convince
Easy to persuade
By Jennifer C.
I wrote this one night after having a long conversation with my ex-boyfriend. He still means the world to me although he will never know. Let me know what you think. Email me at crazychick425@aol.com
Submitted by crazychick425@aol.com 6
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