1 REEEAAAADDD!!
Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
I'm in such a great mood right now just because I'm writing this. It's time for a change. This is my last entry in this 5-year-old diary. I know, I was 10 years old when I first wrote in this There is so much stuff in here that I read over and over again and crack up everytime. But then there is so much more that I am ashamed of and regret. That's why I'm getting rid of this. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. I'm not going to complain everytime I write my feelings down. There is so much more to life. And if you get stuck in teenage depression it slows down everything. You waste those days/months/years of your life. Always..always try to think of the positives.
What am I living by which is so positive? GOD. He's there for you at all times in your life. You can't always trust in a friend, people will make mistakes and let you down. But God will never leave your side. Pray to him when you're feeling down and I guarantee after you'll feel so much better. But don't just pray when you're in trouble. Pray anytime, anywhere Thank him for everything he's done for you. Especially thank him for sacrificing his own son Jesus Christ for all of your sins. Confess to him when you have sinned and he will surely forgive you. Even when you've just had a good day or something little like that..tell him about it he will want to hear it.
And if you don't have him and your not happy, God is the key to happiness. If you want him in your life but don't know how to get there, I advise you to go to a church and almost every sermon will call out to you and ask if you want to have him in your life, they'll ask you to pray a certain prayer or come up to the front and they will pray for you. And that is being saved. But only if you truly take him in, if you still live the same life and don't attempt to have a better relationship with him then you are not saved. And many people make that exact mistake. I did the very same thing...
It was probably around 7th grade and I decided I wanted to ask God into my heart. And I really thought it was just that easy. But I was wrong. I kept going to church every Wednesday and some Sundays and I must admit I was more devoted than I was. But it wasn't good enough. I lead the same life as before outside of church. I mean I didn't cuss, or smoke, drink, do drugs, have sex, or those kind of things. But I still allowed it all. I didn't try to stop it or get it out of my life. I didn't think anything of it when it was going on right before my eyes. And most importantly I didn't read the bible. I may have opened it just a couple of times so I wouldn't feel guilty but that was it. And to this day I am ashamed to say I have still not yet read the whole thing. And you guys are probably thinking well then you don't really know what you're talking about. But even though I don't have a whole bunch of quotes from the bible...I have the events in my life where God has blessed me. I'm so much happier than I was.
Now I pray from my heart everynight, I read the bible as much as I can, and I attend girls bible study. I haven't started going back to chuch yet. Only because no one I really know goes anymore and I don't want to sit by myself and just be there by myself. Then again if I'm going for the Lord then it shouldn't matter. "Our God has promised to supply all our needs and that includes power in weakness and courage in the face of fear."(Philippians 4:19) There's a quote for ya
Are you wondering what led me to finally find the relationship I needed with him? Well I guess it was when Jaime brought me with her to girls bible study. I've only gone 4 times but it seems to have made a HUGE difference in my life. I've learned how to have a better prayer life through the book "A Young Woman's call to prayer." I highly recommend it. And I'm even keeping a journal. Mostly of notes from the book but some important words from the bible. Who knows Maybe I'll start writing what he has blessed me with everyday. I also recommend keeping a journal about him.
So what it all boils down to is, you need God in your life. I could've easily just ripped the pages out of this diary that I wanted to hide but I'm throwing out all of the bad. And I'm moving on with my life. If you have a journal/diary like this somewhere..put a stop to it and live a positive life.
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