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1 A story about my life, my pain, my problems, and my thoughts.
Rating: Not Rated
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
All my life I've been going through so much BS. Losing close relatives, my mom's boyfriend is always getting to me, forced her to give me up for adoption, my mom almost did which was really hard for me. So many times i thought of suicide but same time i thought of my relatives that cared about me...people think they know what im going through and they dont. they ask me if im ok. I say i am ok but its never true. sometimes it seems like all my friends leave me out...most of my life i have felt like i've been left out of everything. so many thoughts of suicide...so much pain. how am i supposed to get out of all of this? one of my goals are to live my life as long as i can but i dont know how im going to achieve that goal, with all of this misery. when i was young, i was happy, as i got older my life got harder and harder every year. every time i go through bullsht i think of my grandparents, wish that they were here and how much they could help me out. sometimes i wish that i was with them when they went. man...i couldnt believe that they were gone, i got so confused with my life, i didnt know what to do. thought of how i was gonna live my life without them. Tonight im having so many thoughts of suicide, went through enough of this BS, argued with my mom and her boyfriend this evening. i feel like i can just give up with my life right now. For so many years my problems have been building up. i can't really talk to anyone, i tried but it seems like it doesnt help me out. people see me as a good person but inside theres so much pain and sadness. sometimes i feel like i need to shout as loud as i can.
One day...im gonna be free of all the pain inside of me, im going to be in a better place. but who knows when that day will come? i wish that day can come sooner. Im not afraid of death but i am afraid of leaving the ones i love.
theres this one girl who really knows what i go through, i miss talking around with her, i also know what she went through, seems like we felt each others pain. almost made me cry a few times. Cheryl i miss chatting with you, hope your doing ok girl. i hope that someday we can actually meet. heehee.
well anyways, all of you take care, have a good life,
Andy Thomas 16
add me on MSN if you want. heehee
atopilak16hotmail.com
Submitted by atopilak16@hotmail.com 57
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