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Annotated Computer-Generated College Rejection Letter
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
College rejection letter: Annotated version of standard RL format provided below. (Exta special annotated version!)
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Dear (rejectee #2343242...)
After the utmost careful consideration, I am (circle one: personally, deeply, sincerely, or appologetically) sorry (yawn) to notify you that we are unable to offer you admission (hahahaha) to the University of (insert here). Perhaps, maybe, possibily, conceiveably, (yeah right, long shot) the most difficult task we face is denying a (what's the word I want to use???!--dumbass--no that's not pc) student. In over (x) years as a Dean, I have never seen an applicant pool as talented as this one.(of course until next year) This year we receive dover(#)thousand applications for (smaller #) spaces in our freshmen class. Many, (oh yeah, a real lot) remarkable students seek admission to Penn, and we are thus forced to turn away candidates with ~~~impressive accomplishments.
The selection process requires considerable deliberation effort. (Who to reject? Who to reject??? oH, yeah, YOU!) Each application was thoughtfully reviewed by a selection committee comprised of faculty, members of the University community, and our staff of admissions professionals. (OH yea, we're not amateurs here. We know who to boot.) We appreciated your ~~~ talents (though few, were precious) and admired your (um) extracurricular involvement. HOwever, this decision, (c'est toute) is final and we regret (more cavier?--oh yes, please pass some) that we are unable to reconsider your (sorry) case.
On behalf of our Selection Committee, I thank you again for your interest in (insert here). After reviewing your unique achievements, I am confident in your ability to be successful (pardon the background coughing)in the years ahead (away, away, far far away from here). You have the (darn) best wishes of the admissions staff (here let me touch your shoulder as I lead you out the door of opportunity) as you pursue your collegiate options. (Now limited, and easier to make.)
Sincerely (with no trace of comedy)
(photocopy of signature here)
(typed name here)
Dean of Admissions
(Yeah, that sounds good.)
Submitted by 23
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