Klingerman Virus

Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)

Please pass this on. This is from Schwab corporate headquarters - it's no joke. Very scary. Be careful we have the following to deal with... please read, it is a threat to our lives and health. This is an alert about a virus in the original sense of the word... one that affects your body, not your hard drive. There have been 23 confirmed cases of people attacked by the Klingerman virus, a virus that arrives in your real mail box, not your e-mail in box. Someone has been mailing large blue envelopes, seemingly at random, to people inside the US. On the front of the envelope in bold black letters is printed, "A gift for you from the Klingerman Foundation." When the envelopes are opened, there is a small sponge sealed in plastic. This sponge carries what has come to be known as the Klingerman virus, as public health officials state this is a strain of virus they have not previously encountered. When asked for comment, Florida police Sergeant Stetson said, "We are working with the CDC and the USPS, but have so far been unable to track down the origins of these letters. The return addresses have all been different, and we are certain a remailing service is being used, making our jobs that much more difficult." Those who have come in contact with the Klingerman virus have been hospitalized with severe dysentery. So far seven of the twenty-three victims have died. There is no legitimate Klingerman Foundation mailing unsolicited gifts. If you receive an oversized blue envelope in the mail marked "A gift from the Klingerman Foundation," DO NOT open it. Place it in a strong plastic bag or container and call the police immediately. This "gift" is one you definitely do not want to open. PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT.

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