Modern Financial Definitions

Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)

Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks. Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail. Cisco - Side kick of Poncho. Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per share. Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $540 per share. Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house. Profit - Religious guy who talks to God. Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan. Alan Greenspan - God. {For this week. We'll see how much longer he lasts.} Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low. Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower. Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999. P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing. Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell. Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex. Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Submitted by 24


Print this forward

Rate this forward:
Content: G PG PG-13 R
Quality: 1 2 3 4
(4 is the highest)


Send this forward by filling out the form below:

  Your Name   Your E-mail
   
Send this to up to 10 friends (enter their email addresses)
1 6
2 7
3 8
4 9
5 10
Personalized message



Your email address is used only to show who
sent the forwarded email message.
We will not put you on any email lists,
send out any advertising emails to you, or sell
your email address to other companies.



Home / Add A Forward / Master Index / Settings / Rules / Guest Book

Other Cool Sites

Bored.com - Tons of fun stuff to do when you are bored.
MakeWebsites.com - Free tools for creating your own website.
LifeBets.com - Win a $100 prize by correctly predicting real life events.
Free Stuff For Teens - Teen Freebies: video games, cd's, magazines, contests, beauty products, posters, and more. Only lists free offers that don't have minimum age requirements.
SearchCactus.com - A search engine where you get money for each search that you do. Must be at least 13 years old and a U.S. resident.
Adoptme.com - Adopt a virtual pet.
Digitalfilms.com - Make your own movie online for free
CheapFlowers.com - Buy flowers online for $29.95 with no extra delivery charge or other fees.

ForwardGarden.com is part of the Bored.com network.
© All Rights Reserved.      Contact Us here.