Enghish

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<< WOMEN'S ENGLISH "Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe" = No "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now "What do you want" = You'll pay for this later. "We need to talk" = I need to complain. "Sure.......... go ahead" = I don't want you to. "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron! "Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs. "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house. "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep. "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're not going to really like me "Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful. "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me. "Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you're dead.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MEN'S ENGLISH: "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired" = I'm tired. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex? "I love you" = Let's have sex now. "I love you too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

Submitted by acedeniset@aol.com 18


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