Why???
Religious
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
By: Milagros Ruby Aviles
began-11:18 PM 11/15/2001
finished-11:57 PM 11/15/2001
i neva thought anything like this would ever happen.
why is it happening?
i neva thought that anything like this could eva happen?is it real?
i neva thought that somehing like this can happen i neva thought i would
eva want to commit suicide. why do i feel like this? whats happening to me?
why am i feeling like this. its a feeling of this unbearable pain that wont
dissapeer. a feeling of pain that u cant ignore. why is this happeing jesus?
why? why would u let sumthin like this happen to me? why to anyone?
what would u do god? what if u had problems like this? whould u jus sit back
and let every thing pass u by? or would you do sumthin bout it?would u ask why?
why would anything like this happen? i neva thought it would happen, and i ask
is it real? is all the pain real?am i dreaming? is what im doin to myself real?
why? i ask. why do i cut myself? why do i let my pain out with each slash of the blade
to my skin? why with every drop of blood i spill my pain goes away? is this away to
solve my problems?will all the pain stop with every cut i make? why do i feel this way?
why do i do this to myself? is there another way out? now i thik to myself... could i stop
it?can i stop all my pain for good?would it end with suicide? but if i did kill myself i
ask this question......would they care? would people care? would anyone even notice?
would u notice? would u care? why? why would u care? would u noe all the pain i was
goin through all the pain i had locked up in my heart? WHAT IF I TOOK THE KNIFE AND START CUTTIN RIGHT NOW? WOULD U TRY TO STOP ME? what if i slit my wrists all the way.. cut throught my vains and bleed to death.....
what would u do? god i askin u would u noe what im goin throught? do u noe what im goin through? so i hold this knife in my hand as a reminder of all human suffering...
to show every one that i wasn't playin that i was fo'reel! that i was being serious. they thought i was makin it all up. they thought i was bein crazy....i'm lettin all u guyz noe i wasn't playin! i told u everything as a cry for help....u just sat there like noting was wrong. why didn't u help me? why did u think nothing was wrong? did u think thast it all
would pass?why? i was askin u to help me? god im sorry for what may become of this
i never thought it would happen.... the day that i grabbed the knife and slit my throte....
i drop to the floore with a note in my hand that i wrote befor it happened...im dieing god
help me!!! can u hear me?do u hear my cry for help? do u see me? im losing blood quickily! all this happened because i thought noe one would care! i was wrong god people do care! my friendz cared now i regret this whole thing im sorry to all my friendz who cared for me who told me they loved me as a friend. to sharlene im sorry i couldn't stay alive! im sorry i broke that promis i made to u befor this happened when i promised to u that i wouldn't do this but now ur gone and i had no one to turn to! im sorry sharlene
that i let u down! please god i make this last prayer to u please if i dont make it please let my sister angie live through this god please she doesn't deserve this she can't die like this ! please god i pray that she lives because i love her so much!please god help her get through this! pleae god help her dont let her die! please let her live so she can get married...so she can live on and be happy! god im goin soon jus please let her live god
and if she doesn't make it through please tell her that i love her and i'll see her soon...Angie if u hear me I LOVE YOU! i'll always love u! angie your the one sister i always told everything to and u never told and for that thank u !! now im lieing on the ground god with my hand on my throte, the blood is gushing itz leaveing my body...to all my friendz i saw goodbye im sorry i had to leave u...i couldn't let my sister go alone
i love her to much to let her go! i couldn't go through life living with all this pain.im going now god please let my family noe im sorry!i cant leave angie like this! thats it i can feel my heart failing.........it stops......that last thing i do is hold this letter tight in my hand while i die... the last thing i see i the picture of me and angie giving eachother a hug... the last wordz i cough out with blood in a whisper is "angie i'll see u soon and i love u".....im dead..u guyz thought i was playin around...but now i wake up one last time and im six feet under ground.
THE END
P.S i wrote this the night my sister angie got into a car accident...
luv ya angie,
ur lil'sis
Milagros Ruby Aviles
Submitted by LiLDeViLRiCaN69@yahoo.com 57
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