b>Amazingly funny job applications

Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)

The company I work for have recently placed an advert in the local paper for a Warehouse Manager. My boss sat down this afternoon and began sifting through the pile of CVs and covering letters that have been pouring in. Here are some of the actual things people have written. He read a few of them out and I had tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard. Enjoy: I have extensive experience in distribution but I don't ever want to hold a position of any importance for personal reasons. I am very flexible with a fork lift truck. I can be very accommodating and in fact I will bend over backwards to satisfy your needs. I have built up an impressive knowledge of warehousing both in and out of my home. I have substantial experience in handling packages of all shapes and sizes, for example round ones, square ones, oblong ones... I have excellent interpersonal and conummication skills. I have worked in all sorts of places and my geography knowledge is unparalled. References are available, please contact my parole officer. Please excuse my handwritten CV, I put the typed version in storage and have had difficulties relocating it. Education: not available Being an ex marine I am still capable of carrying 40 kilos over 20 miles with no discomfort. I have received full COSSHH training and completed a Health & Safety Correct Lifting Course. PS, I am allergic to dust. I'm an excellent packer as I'm constantly moving house so packing suitcases is my speciality. I'm very good with my hands and have exceedingly nimble fingers. With over 400 years in the industry I have amassed a great deal of experience. One person wrote his covering letter on letter headed paper from his current employers. Finally, the Warehouse Manager position also attracted interest from a dyslexic pimp. (okay, so I made this last one up).

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