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a lost girl
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
I'm almost 14 and the thought of suicide has crossed my mind a lot more then once. i don't know why i seem to have the perfect life. my parents are together, i live in a nice house, i have a lot of friends, and a guy who i want to go out with, but am just friends with now. i guess i just got all messed up last year when i got new friends. i've lived here, in hell (NC) for 3 years now my first 2 years i tried being a prep but it didn't work out in 7th i started just being different and got new friends who seemed to be cool in their difference too but i guess i just didn't know. later that year i learned a lot of them were cutting themselves, i started. you know at first just little cuts here and there and they didn't bleed really. but after a few months blood would pour. i went to counseling and everything i was called up to the office who knows how many times for people seeing my cuts and being afraid. i would strait up call them prep @$$ b*tches who didn't care just needed an excuse to get out of class. now i find myself cutting, smoking (ciggs and weed), doing other drugs, and drinking. im 13 and completely messed up. i tried jumping off my roof to brake my neck i thought it would be fast, luckily my brother saw me and saved me. the last time i tried was a little earier this year i tried slitting my wrists. i don't care about the time anymore. my brother's in college now and won't come home much coz my mom yells at him everytime he does. now that he's gone i have nobody to save me so i don't know how much time i have left. the guy i like i think likes me too. i hope so i carved his name into my leg. joy. i can't do anything any more to feel happy i fake smile a lot, i get sick coz i don't eat, and do whatever else i feel like doing. smoking weed makes me feel the best even though for the longest time i threw up after doing it. i lost 5 pounds at least. one way or another i guess im gonna die before im 20 maybe even 18. email me if you can think of anyway to help me i need it
XXkerryXX
bayb280@hotmail.com
Submitted by bayb280@hotmail.com 57
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