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love to my new, BY:TREVOR NEFF
Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
It all started when i was in the seventh grade. i went to my friends birthday party and we played jailbreak at one if his friends house. (it was a girl). the girl was also having a party with a bunch of her girlfriends over. when we started to pick teams i saw this girl that i had never seen before, she looked pretty so i decided to pick to be on my team. we started to talk and i found her name and that we go to the same school. two days after i had met her i decided to ask her out(i was so afraid to ask her out tat i got one of her friends to ask her for her) surprisngly she said yes. i wasnt really sure what to do next. i asked her for her phone number in a letter i wrote to her in school the next day. when i got home i didnt know if i should call her or wait till tomorrow and talk to her or what!(i didnt know what to say to her i didnt really know her that well). then i decided to call her and we got talking and i found out she had some of the same interests as me. i think the first time i called her was friday and on saturdays where i live we have what is called middle school night. (its where middle schoolers go to the ymca ice skate, play basketball, and have a dance.) when they played the first slow song i was nervous because my mind went nuts. what if she tries to kiss me, i had never kissed a girl before!! we had only been going out for i think 4 days too. during the next month or so we did the same thing all the time talked on the phone, went to the movies, and middle school night. about one month into are relationship, middle school night was over and at the end all of my friends kissed there boyfriend/girlfriend. i decided to just kiss her on the lips real quick!! i was so nervous (remember i had never done this before)she leaned over to me and i kissed her it was quick but it meant alot to me, i still remember it to this day and i will always remember it. the weekend after or a couple weekends after i cant remember, she asked me to go to her house one night. i was nervous about this because i didnt knwo what we were going to do sit there and watch tv or movies, or play on the computer or anything. the next night i went down to her house. she showed me around her house. then we watched tv the reast of the night. nothing serious happend!! i asked her if she wanted me to stay at dustins house a friend of mine and marias that lived right behind her. she thought it would be cool so the next weekend i stayed at his house and maria had dustins girlfriend stay at her house, that night we walked around until we came to the front of this church and we stopped and started to talk both of use (the couples were talking about french kissing) i was like ok what do i do now i had never done this before either all i had done was kiss her and that was my first.we started to friench kiss (we did it for like 15 seconds because i was shking and sweating, even though it was like 40 degrees out it was one of those things you couldnt help) we kissed again and i figured i was doing it right because i didnt want to stop and i didnt think she wanted to either:) so from then on we kissed hugged i went to her house and talked on the phone (things that boyfriends and girlfriends do) it was all going good until about are 6 month annivers, she wasnt talking to me much and she didnt want to do as much stuff anymore with me like go to the movies or middle school night and so on. it was so hard on me it got to the point when i didnt want to go to school because i was afraid that she was going to break up with me, i did everything i could to make me think of her i sent her emails everyday saying that i loved her. (older people say that you dont know what love is, what i say is that you can love at any age i couldnt stand not being with her she was my world till one night). i was talking to her on msn (a chat service)the day after are 7 month annivers (she didnt even go to tscholl to see me on that day)anyways she said "i have to tell you something" the next words just tore me apart "i dont think we should go out anymore" when she told me that my mind thought so much i couldnt take it. i logged off right away. i started to cry i couldnt help it (and im not one of those people who cry about anything i rarely cry) it was just the thought that she didnt love me anymore, i had the thought of killing myself, i even had it all planned out how i would do it. i just sat in my room thinking to myself "it all can end very easily i dont have to take this pain" i was so closed to just going off and breaking stuff. when the phone rang i picked it up and tried to act like i wasnt crying but i couldnt help it. on the phone was kelley one of my good friends, she asked me if i was alright. i said i dont know, she was so worried about me she just kept saying that it will be alright dont do anything stupid to hurt yourself you have to many people that love you and need you. we talked till i she convinced me not to do anything.(i guess you could say that she saved my life!!!) if it wasnt for her im not sure i would be writing this today. the next couple days the whole thing got around school everyone was talking about it (i guess it was so big because we had gone out for 7 months) but for the next 6 months after the break up of my life i went in and out of relationships trying to get my mind off of maria. but every girl i met i compared her to maria, no girl was even close to her i just couldnt think about anyone but her, it took more then 7 months to get over her (thats longer than we even went out) dont say i wasnt in love because you didnt know what it felt like. it seemed like a regular day until i met the other girl erica (my new love) i cant exactly remember who asked who out but i know it didnt last that long because she went out with one of my other friends, i know this dosent make sense to you right now but it will at the end. she went out with him for about 3 or 4 months i think im not sure i didnt really want to think about them together. i went out with other girls while they were going out knowing that i still "liked" her. i learned that he was treating her very badly calling her, saying that he would do stuff for her and then not, stand her up, etc. two things i thought about this was wrong "the first thing was that i knew that he would do this because he dosent respect any of the girls that he goes out with he says that he loves them just to make them convinced that he did, and every girl got trapped in his game". the second thing that she took his abbuse, she said that he really loves me i know he does, "he told me something that he never had told any of his other girlfriends" she told me, i answered her back i bet he told you that too huh? she said "yes" i just said you will learn in the end who really loves you. i was talking to kain one day and i was asking him if he really liked her and he said not really, then i asked him have you told her that and he "NO", i said why not he said i dont know. i couldnt stand to see him use her i told her what he said and she broke up with him. i thought to myself "thank you". now me and her are together but she always has these problems (she never tells me about them until a couple days after when i find out froma friend of hers and mine) alot of them are about kain. this makes me think that she thinks about him all the time. its just weird how she says she dosent like him and she swares that she dosent. i know that she hasnt had the best luck with boys from her old boyfriends but she needs to knwo that i really do love her with all my heart, shes the only one that actually is better then ,maria in many ways that i cant explain with words. the only thing i think about is her i want to do everything with her. SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. i just hope that she thinks the same about me. the end
Submitted by trevorneff28@hotmail.com 31
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