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HICKPHONICS : Southern Githungu
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland is
about to cash in with the "Gummit" by labelling
Black slang as a language, "Ebonics,"
has decided to pursue some of that endless
taxpayer money pipeline through
Washington by designating Southern slang, or
"Hickphonics," as a language to be taught
in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts
from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of
greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to
borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup
truck."
YALL - Complete phrase, inquisitive to
group, in 2nd person
Usage: "Yall from Aiwa"
JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida.
Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard
my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.(about 30
days)
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard
mah pickup truck, and
I ain't herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas
native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys
sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool used for taht'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in
the back of that pickup
truck my brother from Jawjuh bard
a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from
Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh
don't change the all in
mah pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading
these Southern words and
git back to work, yoh bahs is
gonna far you!"
POH - adjective. Economic Depravity
Usage:" Tell you what we was
really poh"
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of
mine from Jawjuh don't
git a flat tar in my pickup
truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek
don't rise, I show do
hope to see that Eiffel
Tire in Paris sometime.">
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "Mah grampaw retard at age
65."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from
Hot-lanta, and boy mah arms
are tarred."
FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to
engage in battle or combat.
ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a
predicate adjective.
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin'
to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a
wurd he sed ... must be from
some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas
(unless
you are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give
'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that
bob war fence."
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from
Jawjuh got a job with
that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze
ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New
York City... view?"
HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a
favor?"
GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are
ignert."
Submitted by green_eyes_624@hotmail.com 18
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