General Motors Vs. Microsoft
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives,
read on:
At a recent computer expo, COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry
and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating: If GM had developed technology
like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice
a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the
road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
restart it and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy
to drive - but would run on only five percent of the
roads.
6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "General
Protection Fault" warning light or a "You have performed
an illegal operation."
7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would
have to learn to drive all over again because none of
the controls would operate in the same manner as the old
car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.
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