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8 Types of Chain Letters--this is fun ;-)
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THE EIGHT BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you moron!!!
Something else! Quick!!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
you don't send
this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a
mad goat and
then thrown off a high building into a pile of garbage. It's true!
Because, you
know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is
TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending
them a stupid
chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending
them a
stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid chain
letter.
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid
chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for
sending
them a stupid chain letter, and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.
You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
who has no arms, no legs,
no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
because for every time you
pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving
Legless Armless Goatless Boy
from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of
counting letters sent and
this is all bull. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the
next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people,
you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This
is absolutely incredible
because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8
year olds writing chain
letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in
the next 7 minutes or
something horrible will happen to you like:
Stupid Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter
and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell
into the sewer, was gushed
down a drainpipe in a flood of sewerage, and went flying out over a
waterfall. Not only did she
smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day,
he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend. They both died. Their
families were so upset
that everyone related to them (even by marriage) went crazy and
pent the rest of their
miserable lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this
letter to all of your loser
friends, and everything will be OK.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one
of your friends.
Friends
-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you have body odor,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly
ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled
yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry
about your loser life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
think you should be attacked
by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of garbage,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then
gets the check and leaves and
doesn't speak much English, no sorry- that's the cleaning lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he
wants his wish of being rich to
come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild goats.
Chain Letter Type 5:
This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to test its
e-mail tracking system
because, you know, a big high-tech company like Microsoft always
sends important new software
out over the internet to be available to any moron who can operate a
computer, right?
Plus, they have formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has
agreed to give up millions of
dollars in revenue by giving everyone who reads this e-mail, passes
it on, looks at it, knows
someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is a friend
of someone who looks at it
A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or
EuroDisney! So pass this on to
everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this (or not)!
Even if it's not true, hey-
insulting all of your friends by implying that they are gullible by
sending this to them is worth
the improbable chance that you could go to Disneyland! Even if you
lose all of your friends
because they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you, it's
worth the chance, right? And
just for good measure, if you don't send this on, Microsoft will
send its specially trained
attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO
SEND IT ON!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 6:
VIRUS WARNING!!!
If you receive an email entitled "Bad times," delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently
this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your
hard drive, but it will also
delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It
demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of
your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up
the tracking on your VCR and
uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to
play. It will re-calibrate your
refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and
your milk curdles. It mixes antifreeze into your aquarium and puts dirty socks on the table when company is coming over. It uses your
credit cards, forges your signature, and dates your boy/girlfriend. It
will program your phone
AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number. So be careful!
Forward this to all of your friends, relatives, neighbors, family,
enemies, plumbers, garbage men,
stock brokers, doctors, and any other acquaintances! It's for their
own good! Thank you.
Chain Letter Type 7:
Here is a cute picture I drew.
( /)
( / )
( / )
( /<> )
( / / )
/ __
( ) ( )
~~~~~~~~
It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it
will brighten their day like
it did yours! If you don't, demon-possessed goats will move into
your house and eat all of your
socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong with your
washing machine because all of
your socks keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
Chain Letter Type 8:
This is the funniest thing in the world! In exactly 87 seconds, you have to send this to 275 people, then if you press (space bar + tab + backspace + page up) a clip will pop up on your screen of a mad goat attacking Bill Gates and butting him into a pile of garbage! I couldn't stop laughing, even though sice I'm typing this I obviously couldn't have seen it yet, and there is absolutely no way to attatch a clip in a way that you have to send the email before you see the clip, it's still true! And you know what else is true? I am Batman! And if you stay online doing absolutely nothing for one hour after sending this, I'll email you a gift certificate for five million dollars to spend at Wal-Mart! Just forget the fact that I have no way of finding the email addresses of people who send this out, and the fact that stores will recognize a fake gift certificate. Just send this out, you'll be glad you did!
Wasn't that a fun little anthology? Now, if you don't send this to anyone, guess what'll happen to you--nothing! But if you do decide to send this to some people, you might feel special for helping people to see the light and realize that chain letters aren't magical, they're just obnoxious. Maybe someday we can make all chainletters die the horrible death that some of them threaten us with. Now that a bunch of religious chainletters are appearing, i'm just waiting for one that says that if you don't send this on, God will make lightening strike you, or angels will get sad and cry torrents of rain on your un-raincoated, un-umbrellaed head. So if you get something that's funny and cool (like this ;) ), send it, but if it turns out to be a threat or a guilt trip, just do the world a favor and delete it.
Submitted by twixchick@hotmail.com 4
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