A Cats Point of View

Rating: PG
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)

My owner brought me and the dog, Spike to a pet show. For some reason, the human thinks Spike has a good chance of winning the Most Handsome Dog award. I am disgusted, but even more disgusted at the fact that Spike's behavior is even more repulsive than usual. Our owner walks us to the examining tables. Spike is scratching is ear. "Spike, stop that! You're getting fleas all over me!" I hiss. "I---can't---stop---scratching!" he pants. "Must---kill---flea---" I swatted him as the judge leans over me. He says some baby talk. His suit seems to be made of curtain material. Interesting. I gaze at it, and finally he straightens up and speaks to my owner. I stroll around him and give a quick swipe at his ankle. I glance around. Spike is still scratching. Now he's chasing his tail. It's abnormally long, and I am astonished, but not necessarily surprised to see that he's finally got it between his teeth and is howling in pain. "What do I doooo??!!" he wails at me. "Let go, you moron!" He does, and is simply sitting upright, howling louder than ever. Everyone is staring. My owner is talking to him, trying to get him to calm down. I take this opportunity to tear the judge's pants into indistinguishable shreds. He hurries away, not noticing. Oh, well. A Rottweiler is chasing me. I race up the nearest tree. Darn. I'm stuck.

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