My Name is Diane....

Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)


Dear Sir/Madame,
        I'd like to take time out of my work to let you, the world, know who I am. My name is Diane, and yes, I am a lesbian. Now I know what your doing....gasping right? Well never fear, I am a celibate lesbian, and I have had to keep abstinent for 10, yes 10 years. I have a girlfriend, her name is Samantha. We haven't had sex, per se'....but you know. I'm sometimes referred to as a "carpet muncher", but technically that's not true...I am celibate. Samantha calls me aggressive, but she can't wait till I get off my cycle.
      To my Samantha Pea, I LOVE you dearly. LOVE, yes I LOVE you...but geesus, what the hell do I have to do to get some, frikin' put a bag over my face? Now, I'm not pressuring you honey, I mean you are only 15 (opposed to my 27), but if we don't do something soon, I'm turning straight. So let me whisk you away on my white pony.
      XOXO
      .:Diane

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