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UNIX acting human
Rating: PG-13
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
These are actual error messages you can receive when typing in the
following messages at a UNIX command prompt.
% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
Unmatched ".
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.
% If I had a ( for every $ Reagan spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ drink matter
matter: cannot create
$ why did you get a divorce?
Too many arguments.
$ ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
$ %blow
No such job.
$ (-
(-: Command not found.
$ cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
$ drink matter
matter: cannot create
$ nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
$ scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D
"Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found
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