9 Things I Hate About Everyone 

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I 
know where my watch is pal, where the fuk is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 

2. People who are willing to get off their as to search the 
entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually. 

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it 
too". Damn right What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuk would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their as 
 
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No 
Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fuking floor. 
 
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really 
give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 
 
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? 
If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If 
it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.  

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuk?? Life is the 
longest damn thing anyone ever fuking does What can you do that's longer? 

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the 
bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? 
 
 THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP... 
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't 
plugged in. 

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 

4. Hey, you must've be en doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. 
Good job 

5. Are You Andy or Barney? 

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition 
police officer. 

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 

8. I pay your salary 

9. Gee, Officer That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a 
warning,too 

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us 
does. 

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no 
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you 
been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"