Bad Day at Work
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commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performsunderwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, IN, that was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say,she won...
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit, a wetsuit that is, to the office. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This 20,000.00 piece of equipment sucks in the sea water, heating it up to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints so far. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was working and going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse... Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my dry chamber decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't go to the bathroom for 2 days because my rectum was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt..
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".
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