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1 (aa a friend
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
I know you'll never read this but i have to say it..... Before we became friends I was a complete mess and you know that.... I was suicidal .... i didn't care if i hurt myself or how.... but you brought me up out of that... you made me feel like no matter what you would always care and it was a great feeling...sumthing i hadn't felt in a long time. Within the past few weeks though you have been becoming more distant and less open with me... maybe its because you have her now, i can't be for certain but i am slowly seeing you get yourself deeper and deeper into this mess and im afraid eventually there will be no turning back for you.. i love you like my brother and i dont want you to get hurt and its killing me inside to be sitting on the sidelines watching this happen to you and not being able to do anything about it. and with every day that goes by lately i am slowly slippin back into my depression.... i can't even look at myself int he mirror without crying and thinking no one cares again... maybe its because we became so distant or maybe it was chi chi dying.... it could even be me n my mom... no its everything ... its piling up on me and i have no one to talk to... you were my lifeline and now your gone ... and i know its not fair to put this on you and im not trying to i just want you to know that i need you right now... maybe more than ever.... you are the only person left that makes me feel like everything is okay .... i mean chi chi is gone and kevin is in lockdown.... I need you now more then ever... deep down i feel like i wont be able to survive this time unless i have someone to talk to and someone who i am 100 sure cares and i know you have your own life and its a busy one but im just asking for that half an hour or hour at the end of the day you used to give me so we could talk about how we were and let out or anger and sadness... I miss you falling asleep on the phone with me :) and i miss you telling me it will all be okay.... everytime i try to talk to you now you just say mm-hmm and yeah like you dont even care and it hurtz.... maybe you dont know because im not showing it on the outside but on the inside it really does hurt.... you are the first guy i have ever let myself trust and love in awhile.. i was so scared to let a guy wether he was a friend like you or a boyfriend type like kevin into my life and i eventually let you both in and now i am loosing you at the same time and it is just destroying me... and its not your fault... i know you would never do anything to hurt me or upset me unless i was introuble and needed a wake up call or sumthing but thats not the case and i just am having a hard time dealing with everything.... i love you and i know we have been friends for a short time but these last few months have made me feel so close to you and u have come to mean alot to me.... i would give kevin up in a heartbeat for you that is how much you meant o me but then again you really dont know how much kevin means to me cuz we haven't talked im just hopeing somehow someway i make it thru this and our friendship stays alive.... if i loose you i have lost anything... please dont push me away ... i love you and im here for you thru thick and thin love always.....Bambee
Submitted by Angelgonebad65p4@aol.com 57
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