George Carlin's View on Aging

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> > George Carlin's View on Aging

> >

> > Do you realize that the only time in

> > our lives when we like to get old is when we're

> > kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're


> > so excited about aging that you think in

> > fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half"


> > You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four

> > and a half, going on five That's the key.

> >

> > You get into your teens, now they can't hold you

> > back. You jump to the next number, or even a few

> > ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16"

> > You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16

> >

> > And then the greatest day of your life . . you

> > become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .

> > . . YOU BECOME 21. . YESSSS

> >

> > But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes

> > you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to

> > throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a

> > sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

> > You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

> > Whoa Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.

> > Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and

> > your dreams are gone.

> >

> > But wait You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would

> > So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

> > You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70

> > After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT

> > Wednesday You get into your 80s and every day

> > is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN

> > 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end

> > there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was

> > JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If

> > you make it over 100, you become a little kid

> > again. "I'm 100 and a half"

> >

> > May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half

> >

> > HOW TO STAY YOUNG;

> > 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This

> > includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor

> > worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

> >

> > 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you

> > down.

> >

> > 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the

> > computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let

> > the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's

> > workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

> >

> > 4. Enjoy the simple things.

> >

> > 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

> >

> > 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move

> > on. The only person who is with us our entire

> > life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

> >

> > 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether

> > it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants,

> > hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

> >

> > 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it

> > is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you

> > can improve, get help.

> >

> > 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the
next county,

>to

> > a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

> >

> > 10. Tell the people you love that you love

> > them, at every opportunity.

> >

> > AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number

> > of breaths we take, but by the moments that take

> > our breath away.

Jerri-  I'd rather be at the beach.

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