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Duck Hunting
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
True Story From Michigan, USA.
A guy buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in
monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig, and gets a hold of his
friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and
of course all the lakes are frozen. These two atomic brains go to the lake
with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.
They drive out onto the ice. They want to make some kind of a natural
landing to attract ducks--something the decoys will float on. Remember
it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock
of ducks, a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a
little more than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the brand-new
Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse.
To their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration
that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far
from where they (and the new Grand Cherokee) would be waiting, and ran
back quickly, they would risk slipping on the ice as they ran from the
imminent explosion, and could possibly go up in smoke with the resulting
blast.
After a little deliberation, they come up with lighting and THROWING the
dynamite, which is what they end up doing. Remember a couple of paragraphs
back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG???? Yes,
the dog. The driver's pet black lab (used for retrieving, especially
things thrown by the owner). You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high
rate of doggy speed on the ice, reaching the stick of dynamite with the
burning 40 second fuse about the time it hits the ice--all to the woe of
the two idiots who are now yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering
what the heck to do now?! The dog is happy and now heads back toward the
"hunters" with the stick of dynamite. I think we all can picture the
ever-increasing concern on the part of the brain trust, as the loyal
Labrador Retriever approaches. The Bozos now are REALLY waving their arms,
yelling even louder and generally feeling kinda panicked. Finally one of
the guys decides to think, something that neither had one before this
moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. This sounds better than it
really is, because the shotgun was loaded with duck shot and hardly
effective enough to stop a black lab. The dog DID stop for a moment,
slightly confused, but then continued on. Another shot, and this time the
dog, still standing, became REALLY confused and of course scared. TOTALLY
INSANE, the pooch takes off to find cover with a now extremely short fuse
still burning on the stick of dynamite. The cover the dogs finds?
Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee worth 30-some thousand dollars,
the $400.00+ monthly payment vehicle that is sitting nearby on the lake
ice. BOOM!! Dog dies, vehicle sinks to bottom of lake, and these two
"Co-Leaders of the Known Universe" are left standing there with this "I
can't EVEN believe this happened to me" look on their faces.
Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company and is
promptly informed that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of
explosives is NOT covered on his policy. He had yet to make his first car
payment.
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