100 Yo Momma jokes
Rating:
Quality: (Quality: Unrated)
-Yo Momma so old when she saw Jurassic park it brought back memories
-Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
-Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number
-Yo momma so old her social security number is 1
-Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
-Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
-Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks
-Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook
-Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
-Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
-Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
-Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
-Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
-Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
-Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces
-Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
-Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
-Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse
-Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang
-Yo momma so old even God calls her mother
-Yo momma's so fat that when she goes swimming she has to watch out for torpedoes
-Yo momma so fat that she broke a branch on the family tree
-yo mama's so fat she was standing on a street corner and a cop ran up and told her to break it up.
-Yo mamma so fat she jumped in the ocean and the whales started signing "We are Family"
-Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
-Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
-Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
-Yo momma so fat we're in her right now
-Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
-Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
-Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
-Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...
-Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
-Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy"
-Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop
-Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions
-Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay"
-Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi"
-Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
-Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
-Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her
-Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
-Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
-Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
-Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
-Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
-Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE
-Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
-Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
-Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
-Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
-Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs
-Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code
-Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
-Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved
-Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her
-Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in
-Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
-Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
-Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
-Yo momma so fat her legs are like spoiled milk - white chunky
-Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side
-Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections
-Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER
-Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
-Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball
-Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun
-Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell
-Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
-Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
-Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views
-Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family
-Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
-Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon
-Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in
-Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips
-Yo momma so fatHer belly button's got an echo.
-Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks
-Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand
-Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper
-Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
-Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
-Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights
-Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car
-Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
-Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans
-Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu
-Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
-Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
-Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
-Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
-Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.
-Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
-Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
-Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
-Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
-Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
-Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
-Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
-Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
-Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
-Yo momma so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.
-Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
-Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
-Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back
-Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
-Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
-Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
-Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
-Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
-Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
-Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
-Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
-Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
-Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow
-Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide
-Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
-Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts
-Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
-Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
-Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
-Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
-Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals
-Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ
-Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development
-Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
-Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
-Yo momma so poor I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "You lost a shoe,"and she said "No, I found one."
-Yo Momma so poor she can't afford the o or the r.
-Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
-Yo Momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention
-Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush
-Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers
-Yo Momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING"
-Yo Momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
-Yo Momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
-Yo Momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.
-Yo Momma is so poor when she heard about the last supper she thought she had ran out of food stamps
-Yo Momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
-Yo Momma so poor she drives a peanut.
-Yo Momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
-Yo Momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
-Yo Momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard
Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop
-Yo Momma so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus.
-Yo Momma so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner"
-Yo Momma so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner."
-Yo Momma so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me tried to take my wallet
-Yo momma so stupid she needs a receipe to make ice cubes.
-Yo momma so stupid she stole a car and kept up the payments.
-Yo Momma so stupid she locked herself in the bathroom and wet her pants.
-Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
-Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
-Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
-Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
-Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a spoon
-Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ
-Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved
-Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put MM's in alphabetical order
-Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone
-Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money
-Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund
-Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
-Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
-Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
-Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
-Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
-Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
-Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
-Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
-Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
-Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
-Yo momma so dumb she sits on TV watches the couch
-Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
-Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
-Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
-Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
-Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean
-Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds
-Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch
-Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
-Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
-Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
-Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
-Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
-Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
-Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
-Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
-Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
-Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
-Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course
-Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
-Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
-Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
-Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.
-Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
-Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
-Yo momma so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
-Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
-Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
-Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess" so she said "Levi's"
-Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
-Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
-Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
-Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
-Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her -shower
-Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
-Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
-Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
-Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
-Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
-Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
-Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
-Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
-Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
-Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
-Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote
-Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out
-Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested
-Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her
-Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her
-Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone
-Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
-Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone
-Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
-Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
-Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
-Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
-Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
-Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
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