1 friend, my best friend, Sammi Babez. PLZ READ
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For starters i used to be really suicidal, i've attempted suicide 6 timez total and i used to be a really bad cutter, i have many scars that will probably never fade and memoriez that will alwayz stay with me.One particular cut was the worst, i cut a little too close to the vein and it bled alot, it really scared me, i tried despretly to stop the bleeding, using what seemed like millions of tissues to soak up the blood, when the blood stopped i cut it again, why? I'm not completly sure, any cutter will tell you that the pain and blood are rewards of your cutand a release from the worlds stress, not exactly the greatest stress-releaver but the one i chose at the time.While the blood flowed more i thought i would die, so i wrote a letter...a suicide letter, some blood got on the paper while i was writing but i thought nothing of it. I brought the letter to school in my bag the next day so that my parents wouldnt find it, my friend Willy who cares alot about me and knew i was a cutter wanted to see the new cut and the letter, Sammi was sitting in between us, i lifted my wristband(which still had some blood on it) and showed the cut, Sam burst into tears, I hugged her and told her it would be ok, that i would be fine, she started to calm down a little. Willy still wanted to read the letter so i brought it out of my bag and was careful to hide the blood from sam with my hand, i told willy to make sure she didnt see it because she'd cry even more, but willy didnt cover the blood quick enough and sam saw. She started crying really hard and ran for the door, she just sat on the floor by the wall, curled up and crying really hard, i asked my math teacher if i could take her out of the classroom and she said yes, i got Sammi to stand up and walked her out of the classroom. As soon as i closed the clasroom door sam just gave me the biggest hug, i stood there in the hallway hugging her as she trembled and cried. "Why would you do it Britt?" She asked me "I thought everthing wad OK" "So did I" Was the only thing i could think of to answer her question, It was then that i realized that people DID care about me, i promised Sam that i would never do it again because i couldnt stand to see the happy. smily sam i knew Cry in fright. Later that day i saw a counsellor, as soon as she told me she knew i cut I was the one who burst out crying, pouring out my feelings to the woman i barely knew, i asked her to bring Sammi in and she did after she examined the cuts and i used up half her box of kleenex whiping away the tears that poured out of my eyes as hard as sams did that morning. Sam now does daily wrist checks and makes sure I dont cut my wrists anymore, she is my best friend and she's saved my life. She's moving soon and i just want to say that i'll miss her and cry for days when she's gone...but i wont cut, i know she wouldnt want me to do that.
Submitted by fuzzypuppy21@hotmail.com 38
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